Archived Should you ever settle for someone? Or be with someone who settled for you? (AskVoat)
submitted ago by TAThatBoomerang
Posted by: TAThatBoomerang
Posting time: 4.7 years ago on
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Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
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20 upvotes, 0 downvotes (100% upvoted it)
Archived Should you ever settle for someone? Or be with someone who settled for you? (AskVoat)
submitted ago by TAThatBoomerang
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[–] OlympicWalrus 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
If you are actually thinking about the relationship in those terms you likely shouldn't be in it. Trying to quantify and compare value in a relationship doesn't really make sense, your relationship isn't a competition. Focus on what the quality of your relationship is together.
[–] CapinBoredface 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Exactly this. If you consciously think "Eh, this'll do I guess..." then that's a no.
But if you one day notice that the person you love is flawed that's okay.
[–] xeemee 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
interesting question
my opinion is that 'love' is more of a decision than a circumstance and if you're looking for the 'the right one' as depicted by Hollywood, you are very likely wasting your time
that said, i would advise that you resonate with your partner because trying to force a relationship may be a disaster waiting to happen
[–] TAThatBoomerang [S] ago
What? Love is more of a decision? How can you decide to fall in love?
[–] pacman2000 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
No person is going to be completely perfect. At a certain point you do need to compromise and find someone you are compatible with. It won't be perfect but if you both are on the same page and are relatively similar in looks and social status I think it's good to settle for each other as long as you're both happy with each other. You can't have everything, but if you can have most of everything I think that's pretty good. I have been in my relationship for over 6 years and I think it's a very healthy one and we love each other more now than ever. Could I get with a more attractive younger girl? Yes, but I don't want that, I want the wonderful girl I have who is closer to my age and treats me and our kids good and still does it for me sexually even though neither of us are supermodels.
edit: Left words out
[–] brightshininglight ago
I feel like you would be doing yourself a disservice in either scenario, however, the fact is that sometimes you must compromise so I suppose it's a personal decision and the answer will depend upon the individual faced with the issue.
[–] kaybuu ago
If you can honestly see the flaws in the person you love without judging them for it then you may have found the right person for you.
[–] Gardmeria ago
Short answer; no. Long answer: yes. As you get older and realize that you're shit and don't want to die along, you'll find someone and that same someone will be a shit person and want the same thing. True love.
[–] Maxcactus ago
Things are always unequal. Up to a point people make the best choices based on the available options. Then depending on loyalty , commitment and ever entangling relationship factors people stay together. Over time everyone finds the flaws that are not apparent at the onset. As things play out we all do cost benifit analysis and decide how we will act in the future.
[–] fuck_communism ago (edited ago)
No. Hell, no! Fucking hell, no!
On the other hand, if you're like the poster here who thinks a wife leaving cleaning supplies out after cleaning, or not being ready on time is a 'relationship ender,' if you're lucky, someone will settle for you.
People who tell you it's not about love, or that nobody gets a '10' are just bitter losers.
If you are lucky enough to fall in love with someone who falls in love with you, don't fuck it up.
Never be afraid to profess your love, regret is way worse, and lasts way longer than embarrassment.
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen! " Sean Connery, The Rock.