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[–] grandmacaesar 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Heartworms are real.

If your dog's not too badly infected, you can cure him/her by putting cigarette tobacco in a wad of burger, and feed it to him/her. The parasites will abandon the host. Your dog will be lethargic for a day or so, and you will see a bunch of worms the next time you pick up the shit.

(If your dog is too badly infected, he/she will die from it anyway.)