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[–] Eshu_Eleggua 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Congrats and my piece of advice is communicate with each other. If something bothers you let them know and have them do the same. Because if you don't it generally will come out during a fight and doesn't help anyone.

Another good one is to not go to sleep angry at each other.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] korkyshadow 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Angry sex.

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[–] DickNosedDolphin 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Man, I've heard that so many times but me and my wife fall asleep angry at each other all the time. The real trick is to sleep it off like you would a drunken bender. Sleep heals all wounds.

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[–] dregan 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Falling asleep angry is fine, you can't always work everything out in one night and people have other priorities that require them to wake up early. In fact, when you sleep on it, sometimes you realize the thing you were fighting about is stupid and you aren't angry anymore. I think the intended message of this advice is: If you are angry, don't hold it in and don't let it turn into resentment. Communicate when you have time and clear heads.

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[–] Eshu_Eleggua 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

That's true but the goal is to wrap it up and get it over with quickly. Some people will just let it build and build which doesn't help.

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[–] barrinmw 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Make time for sex. Like, if you have to schedule it, schedule it. But you don't want to be the couple where it slowly disappears and 3 months since your last handie, you go...where is the sex?

Sex is important to a healthy relationship.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] dregan 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

tell her every day or two that you love her madly.

Pablo Neruda said it best:

I want you to know

one thing.

You know how this is:

if I look

at the crystal moon, at the red branch

of the slow autumn at my window,

if I touch

near the fire

the impalpable ash

or the wrinkled body of the log,

everything carries me to you,

as if everything that exists,

aromas, light, metals,

were little boats

that sail

toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,

if little by little you stop loving me

I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly

you forget me

do not look for me,

for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,

the wind of banners

that passes through my life,

and you decide

to leave me at the shore

of the heart where I have roots,

remember

that on that day,

at that hour,

I shall lift my arms

and my roots will set off

to seek another land.

But

if each day,

each hour,

you feel that you are destined for me

with implacable sweetness,

if each day a flower

climbs up to your lips to seek me,

ah my love, ah my own,

in me all that fire is repeated,

in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,

my love feeds on your love, beloved,

and as long as you live it will be in your arms

without leaving mine.

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[–] Eshu_Eleggua 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I do the same to my wife and think it's great advice.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] RockAndNoWater 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Remind her that posts in AskVoat have to follow the rules in the sidebar, such as requiring a question mark in the title.

[–] [deleted] 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] RockAndNoWater 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I was trying to be funny, but obviously I failed :(

If you want real advice, I'd say:

  • Listen to her and talk to her, not at her
  • Remember your wedding vows - you're supposed to cherish each other, not take each other for granted
  • There will always be ups and downs, don't be unrealistic and expect every day to be like your honeymoon

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[–] Jukeyb0y 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

If there's something you wouldn't feel OK telling your wife about, then don't do it.

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[–] RockAndNoWater 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Excellent advice!

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[–] KillerMech 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Hey I see people posting communication on here and I agree, but its just not that simple. It's something everyone thinks sounds simple and most people in my experience think they are good at it, but the subject is deeper and broader than most give it credit for.

One tip is accepting emotions for what they are. It's a part of communication. You'll both experience every emotion available to humans over your lives together. Sometimes those emotions will seem irrational to one of you. But those emotions need to be accepted at the time and discussed later if need be. It's hard because you might be mad or sad or stressed and accepting their emotions just isn't easy.

Another part of communication is keeping the lines open. Talking about your days will start to seem silly. But just talking even after 5 or 10 years about every day things keeps the bond strong and reduces stress if done right. Not every problem needs to be solved so just listen to your spouses daily tales and laugh or commiserate without judgement. Expect the same. It means a lot.

This all just touches on a little bit of what that one word piece of advice means. It's super important and takes time and practice.

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[–] MCgrimalkin21 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Remember your a team! It's you and your partner against the world! Find things that you enjoy doing together, but also have things to do apart. Divide the responsibilities fairly. Remember to have sex! Enjoy being married for a while and forget about having a kid. Have a common goal to work towards together, like buying a house. Don't get fat.

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[–] ChristopherBurr 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

select your side of the bed very carefully. It will never change. I suggest the side closest to the air-conditioner. Also, stake out your shelf in the medicine cabinet before she takes over every flat surface in the bathroom.

Best of Luck

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