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[–] Jasnah_Kholin ago 

I had a wooden bench on my porch a few years ago - not something flimsy or small, but a big, heavy, adirondack-style bench. There really doesn't seem like any way to be stealthy about stealing a bench from someone's porch, especially because when I say "porch," what I really mean is "the spot next to my doorway in the open hallway of my apartment building."