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[–] MamaCoder [S] 1 points 22 points (+23|-1) ago 

Last night, I was trying to get my husband hard so we could have sex. After about 10 minutes of no response ... he starts snoring. About 20 minutes later when he thought I was asleep, he snuck off to the bathroom to jack off. We aren't currently speaking.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

... if he was that tired, he wouldn't have snuck out 20 minutes later to jack off. :(

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[–] mrmyxlplyx 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Sounds like he might view a bit too much porn.

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[–] King-Calf 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Jacking off is my favorite past time. I swear I dot it about 2-3 times a day. In fact, I'm about to pretend to go take a huge shit just so I can rub one out without anybody knowing.

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Which is cool, but his down time is at least a day.

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[–] Original_Username 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

How much do you weigh?

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I'm 150lbs. A llittle on the curvy side for my height, but not big by any means.

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[–] Wargasm 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

I've been fortunate to have not been turned down in any "terrible" way.

So, I guess the rudest would have been the following:

I went up to a girl at bar once who was drinking with her friend. I locked eyes with her and smiled a little bit.

When I got up close she very forcefully said, "No, just no!"

So, without skipping a beat, I turned my attention to her friend and said, "Hi, you're cute."

She laughed and turned me down too, but I think she was amused.

So, technically, I guess that was the time I got turned down by two women at the same time, but at least I got one of them to laugh.

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[–] PIK-SHOE 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Damn, that's actually really smooth. You took the fall with style and grace.

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[–] Wargasm 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Thank you. Have an upgoat!

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

That's actually quite impressive. Not at all how I expected that story to end.

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[–] Wargasm 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Yeah. I really wanted to get laid, but life often doesn't turn out the way we want it to.

Aw hell, you get an upgoat too!

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[–] radamhadameal 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

This was a girl I had previous relations with, and it was the first time I had asked over text. She said she was dating someone now. Doesn't sound bad but I felt even more awkward and terrible than I had just for asking. I said I was sorry and crawled into a hole.

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[–] twinpop 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Just sneak into the bathroom and jack off!

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Awe :( Sorry to hear that. I don't think I could ever come right out and ask for it... I'm a lot more comfortable using actions rather than words. I can't imagine getting up the nerve to send that text, let alone how it would feel to get that response. I hope you have crawled back out.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] twinpop 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Love the whole story but especially the last sentence. Good on ya, bro. The best defense is a good offense.

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Good lord! This may be the best thing I've read in a while. I'm sorry you were in that position, but the outcome is fucking amazing.

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[–] mogroith 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Denied and thrown out the house for not taking off my socks.

Race motorbikes when I have cash, was flirting with one of the advertising chicks all day. At the end of the day went and had a shower when i got back to my transporter the advertising chick was waiting with not many cloths on, we did it straight away, She said I could sleep at her house because it was a 6 hour drive to get home for me, as soon as we got to her house do it again about 5 secs after the door closes, both fell a sleep on the couch in a tangle of arms legs and cloths. When we woke she went and have a shower to freshen up i had a quick bite to eat, when she finished her shower she called me in the bed room she was spread eagle sliding in a but plug, motioning for me to ear her pussy so not to deny a females wishes, after a while she said she wanted to suck me as well, was kneeling on the floor eating her as i climbed on the bed she noticed I had left my socks on, things changed straight away she started yelling at me and pushed me off the bed removed the butplug and threw it at me flatout, while my brain was trying to work out what was happening she grabbed all my cloths and through them out the front door a gave me minute to get out or she will call cops.

20 years later still cant work out why leaving socks on would make someone behave like that.

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

She seriously threw a just used butt plug at you? That's something I never knew I always wanted to see. That's awesome. :)

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[–] M80TheMan 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I was showering at my ex's place after helping her move (we had an on and off thing) but I had made it clear that I wanted us to stay friends because I was tired of the fuck buddy thing. Anyway, she comes into the shower with me and being the horny 19 year old I was I start to get handsy as well as her. After making out and fondling each other she turns around, bends over, and puts her hands up against the wall. So my dumb ass is thinking "Oh boy shower sex! Awesome!". Nope. Just when I'm about to enter her she says "Stop!". Confused, wet, and naked I knew what ever came next wasn't going to end well. So I got out, dried off, got dressed, and drove home never seeing or talking to her again. Fuck that drama.

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

That's just cruel. You can't get into position in front of a naked man and tell him no, stupid girl.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I kept trying to hit on this one girl, and I kept grabbing her ass.

I hope the username isn't relevant.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] MamaCoder [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Seriously?! You can't leave us hanging... what happened last August???

[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

[Deleted]
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