[–] Bill_Murrays_Sandals 0 points 32 points (+32|-0) ago 

[–] audiastrat [S] 1 points 4 points (+5|-1) ago 

I think besides the shit stories this is the funniest greentext Ive ever read. But this might be better than the shit stories

[–] Metanoiac 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Best green text ever were thΓ© aventures of Phil and his retard friend.

[–] midnightblue1335 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

It's pretty funny, but the implication is disturbing- which made it even funnier to me. Look at it from the girlfriend's perspective:

The male of the story is so obviously badly autistic that he develops a "tic" of clapping his hands. It's annoying, but the guy is quirky, and she's known him for 3 years- she can get over that little quirk, like all of the others. But soon, her strange ape-man boyfriend is clapping with absurd volume, like an addiction worsening...

One night, she's trying to sleep. CLAP!! Omg, her faggot boyfriend is doing his clap bullshit again! They have their first fight. "I can't stand this fucking clapping, look at your hands- your palms are red raw! You're hurting yourself, and it's driving me crazy- please baby, stop it!" Boyfriend stares blankly into her eyes, and she feels her stomach begin to sink.. after a long silence, CLAP! thunders through the room. Girlfriend sleeps on the couch.

Over the next year, this goes on and on. The woman is haggard, looks like a strung out junky due to lack of sleep and constant irritation. The ceaseless intermittent ear-piercing claps now feel like hammerblows in her skull. Her hearing has worsened considerably, now needing closed captioning and hearing a constant ring whenever there is silence. She's staring into her coffee while her clearly autistic boyfriend is playing some "bing bing wahoo", pausing occasionally to CLAP loudly. She decides- this is enough.

"I CAN'T STAND YOUR STUPID FUCKING CLAPPING! I HATE YOU FOR IT!" She screams in the face of her boyfriend, who returns her gaze with his usual vacant, glazed expression, a tiny string of drool dripping down his chin. Suddenly, he bursts into laughter. The girlfriend can't believe it, and it shows on her face- boyfriend laughs harder at this, so hard that he shits his adult diaper. Girlfriend lets out a tirade of venomous barbs, venting 4 years of frustrations of the difficulty of dating a retarded man. After he stops laughing, boyfriend bursts into thunderous applause. The girlfriend blacks out, and comes to in her car, halfway to her friend's house. She sends a text message to break up, and speeds off into the distance. The end.

That's how I read it anyway.

[–] NosebergShekelman 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I just did this to my wife. There's something to it. She looked at me like she could kill me. Operation clap has been initiated.

[–] PaleSnake 1 points 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

Just another day in Clapistan.

[–] audiastrat [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

OMG what did you search for to find this?? I'd been trying on and off for years

[–] Bill_Murrays_Sandals 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Just typed "greentext clapping girlfriend" lol

[–] ScreaminMime 1 points 17 points (+18|-1) ago 

But now she gets to tell all his friends and family that she broke up with him because he kept giving her the clap.

[–] Sheitstrom 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

This is wonderful.

[–] RiverWind 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Great question, OP and thanks Bill_Murrays_Sandals for delivering.

[–] ScreaminMime 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

We ALL KNEW it would be him... he's like the Teacher's Pet of Voat!

[–] Wowbagger 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

He's the hero we need

[–] muzzieniggerjew 1 points 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

i bring my hands together for an outrageous applause πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»

[–] leo87 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

That's some next level trolling.

[–] BloatedVoatGoat 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

She got the Clapp n GTFO

[–] Nonetheless 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago 

She gave him the clap.