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Why do I feel like everyone's judging me or like I'm a failure?
I think you need to separate "is it wrong" from "nobody will judge". Hey, if it's what you really want to do then so be it. Why do you care what other people think? However, people will judge you and they have the right to do so. Most people value ambition and working toward better things. There are good reasons for that, whether cultural or evolutionary psychology. You can do what you like as long as you aren't harming anybody, but you can't expect other people to care about the fun you are having.
The other component is informed consent. That is, do you really know the costs and risks of what you are doing? Certainly the drink and drugs are higher risk for both health/life and ending up in jail, but I'm sure you know that, even if only in the back of your mind.
There is also a significant opportunity cost. That is, if you are spending all that time just "having fun" without growing your potential (education, training, skills, intellect, etc.), it permanently reduces and delays your career path, income, promotions, seniority, retirement, retirement savings, wealth, and general options in life. In essence, you are robbing your future self by making your future life harder so that you can "have fun" now. That is, of course, in your current self's best interest, but even your current self must have some foresight that you will eventually have to live a harder life because of your current choices.
This is generally why most people will tend to judge you as a failure, because they understand that self-investment payoff and opportunity costs. People who make the choices you are making also tend to draw on taxpayer programs later as they struggle to get by, having not invested in themselves earlier in life. Perhaps you already know that, but many young people don't.
That doesn't make it a choice between having fun now or no fun. Rather, there is an optimal path of balancing fun now with investment in yourself now, such that you can have the most possible enjoyment of your life as a whole. You seem to have chosen screwing over your later life to enjoy it more now. Others choose too heavily on investing themselves and never get around to enjoying life, or not until much of their life has passed. There is an optimum balance.
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[–] DashingLeech ago
There are two components to my answer.
I think you need to separate "is it wrong" from "nobody will judge". Hey, if it's what you really want to do then so be it. Why do you care what other people think? However, people will judge you and they have the right to do so. Most people value ambition and working toward better things. There are good reasons for that, whether cultural or evolutionary psychology. You can do what you like as long as you aren't harming anybody, but you can't expect other people to care about the fun you are having.
The other component is informed consent. That is, do you really know the costs and risks of what you are doing? Certainly the drink and drugs are higher risk for both health/life and ending up in jail, but I'm sure you know that, even if only in the back of your mind.
There is also a significant opportunity cost. That is, if you are spending all that time just "having fun" without growing your potential (education, training, skills, intellect, etc.), it permanently reduces and delays your career path, income, promotions, seniority, retirement, retirement savings, wealth, and general options in life. In essence, you are robbing your future self by making your future life harder so that you can "have fun" now. That is, of course, in your current self's best interest, but even your current self must have some foresight that you will eventually have to live a harder life because of your current choices.
This is generally why most people will tend to judge you as a failure, because they understand that self-investment payoff and opportunity costs. People who make the choices you are making also tend to draw on taxpayer programs later as they struggle to get by, having not invested in themselves earlier in life. Perhaps you already know that, but many young people don't.
That doesn't make it a choice between having fun now or no fun. Rather, there is an optimal path of balancing fun now with investment in yourself now, such that you can have the most possible enjoyment of your life as a whole. You seem to have chosen screwing over your later life to enjoy it more now. Others choose too heavily on investing themselves and never get around to enjoying life, or not until much of their life has passed. There is an optimum balance.