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[–] Syndicalism 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

No. Compromised principles are not sound bedrock for a LTR.

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[–] ZenAtheist 1 points 9 points (+10|-1) ago  (edited ago)

HAHAHAHAHA!

All that's missing from your comment title is for it to start with "Fellow white people..."

In case you're genuine - no. Stay away from degenerates.

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[–] stradian 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Conflicting additudes towards sex is easily a deal breaker, especially if one partner sees sex as an emotional investment, and the other does not.

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[–] SOULESS [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I wish I saw this comment sooner and could upvoat it ten times over. That's actually a perfect way to look at it.

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[–] virtuousslut 1 points 5 points (+6|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Highly doubt that. I like him to have a good amount of sexual experience, but there's a point at which his sexual partner count might nauseate me. Being a porn star would probably nauseate me, with 95% 99% certainty, unless there was some sort of dire need for money, I guess, or if it was a one time thing. How many porns/women did he do?

Also worth considering whether he might have overly liberal sexual expectations from you. Would he ask you to participate in a threesome? An offbeat kink? Does he want premarital sex? Would you be able to handle all his expectations? And would he be able to pace himself with an inexperienced woman?

Thinking of all the STDs pornstars could contract makes me shudder. Is he cleared in that regard?

He'd have to be really amazing to overlook something like pornstar past, 'cause that's downright disgusting to me, no offense. I think there are more than thousands of other men you could find before needing to settle for that (just look at this site). Especially considering you're a virgin yourself.

Don't have to answer my questions at all, but I am very curious what traits you find so compelling in him.

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[–] SOULESS [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Not sure how many. He just mentioned he would do solo stuff or things with females for a year or so. He said it paid pretty well and he took a trip with the money he made from it back then. It kinda sounds like webcam stuff.

He's already told me he's a very sexual person. But, that's kinda something every guy seems to tell me when we get talking about it. We haven't hung out much and he's been very cool with me turning him down on things so far. That's the main reason I've been okay keeping contact with him still. I've not straight told him I'm a virgin yet but he knows I'm not very experienced... It's kinda obvious.

I would make him get an STD test before sex. But I don't plan on that happening for a while, if ever. We're still technically in a friend-zone/beginning of maybe-dating lightly.

I think it's gross too. But I also know I'm an incredible prude compared to the average person. First thing I thought when he told me was "deal breaker", but the more I learn about him I can't quite tell if we would be really good together or terrible. He served in the military for 5 years and when we stopped by his house quick I got to see some of his guns. Part of me is excited about shooting with him. He is super manic and chatty, which normally would drive me mad but he's passionate about physics and electrical engineering. So I actually love listening to his tangents when he goes off on one. He is very ambitious which I tend to be as well. One issue I feel I have with a lot of people is I want to accomplish lots in life and they seem comfortable with mediocrity. He is very social and connects with people well which reminds me of my best friend who died back when I was 19. She and I were complete opposites but we got along so well. Being around people like that make me feel more normal and connected to humanity as a whole. When I'm on my own I tend to be very disconnected and really have to fight myself to stay social and push my comfort zone.

What do you think? I'm not really sure what type of personality traits to look for in a long term partner since I've never had one before. Like... People say a big part of relationships are accepting each other's flaws. How do you decide which flaws are acceptable or not?

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[–] virtuousslut 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Hm, gonna have to let it be a judgment call, then. I'd say it would be worse if he worked for a porn company. It also suggests he might not have good long-term skills for a stable/secure income. If I were you, I'd want to know a number and details at some point.

I've not straight told him I'm a virgin yet but he knows I'm not very experienced... It's kinda obvious.

This is going to be important when you tell him. I don't know why, but it really seems to scare some men when I tell them I'm a virgin. Maybe they think I'm an absurdly uptight prude (lol, as if: as my name suggests, I'm very sexual, but I place a high value on any sexual investment). Some guys don't seem to care, and that also bothers me. Having spent a while on Voat, it is clear that a woman being chaste is unusual and valuable. I've come across many men who love the virginity thing, almost to a point where it's a little weird (like, geez, do I lose my value after I lose it?). So, of course, either extreme can be bad, but I personally prefer that a man treasure my virginity, as it is a manifestation of character, after all.

I think a man who would treasure your virginity would be gentle and help you shift to finding more enjoyment in sex. When you tell him, watch for his reaction. He might not like it since he is sexually liberal, but it could be that since he's seen the ugly side of promiscuity in porn, he'll actually place value in it. Ya know, he probably has a good idea without you saying anything; did you know men can smell virgins? (also kinda weird) Or maybe it was gait. Can't find the study I saw.

And, lol, you are not a prude for questioning a guy with a past in porn. Everybody has their own comfort limits and prudishness for certain things, as they should. I'm lax with many things, but porn is not one!

He is very social and connects with people well which reminds me of my best friend who died back when I was 19. She and I were complete opposites but we got along so well.

I can see why that'd keep you interested. Be very careful, though, that you're not seeking to replace your friend with him because it may cause you to overlook his faults in hopes of filling that hole in your heart. I had a much less severe but similar issue where I might have been trying to replace someone in the past.

When I'm on my own I tend to be very disconnected and really have to fight myself to stay social and push my comfort zone.

It's good you know this. Still doesn't mean you have to settle for a porn past!

What do you think? I'm not really sure what type of personality traits to look for in a long term partner since I've never had one before. Like... People say a big part of relationships are accepting each other's flaws. How do you decide which flaws are acceptable or not?

Eek, I have to run for an exam, but I hope to reply to this by tomorrow. Sorry for my long responses, by the way, just rare to find someone who's also a virgin and be able to discuss it at length.

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[–] Pawn 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Fellow white people. Porn stars are still people too oy vey!

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[–] SOULESS [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

How the hell do people think this is a jew post?

The whole point is I like a male's personality but I'm uncomfortable with his sexual past. I'm just asking for people's opinions is all on that stuff. Not trying to convince Voaters to date pornstars.

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[–] slwsnowman40 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Fuck no. That's a deal breaker.

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[–] Cantilever 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Username checks out

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[–] jokersmild 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Define "date"?

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[–] SOULESS [S] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Date with intentions of possibly marrying them down the road.

In my context, I don't date for fun. I date to find a potential life partners.

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[–] jokersmild 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Unless you are willing to put in the time to "deprogram" them, don't bother.

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