[–] [deleted] 0 points 56 points (+56|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] redditaccountlogin 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Theres another layer to this. I read a book called 'In the realm of the hungry ghosts' written by a doctor who specialises in addiction treatment and he describes the way the brain forms as a kid and how the way you're raised contributes to your dopamine receptor levels.

He says that what researchers have found is that a good relationship with your parents, but your mother particularly (he really emphasises the role of the mother) providing you a loving environment when you're little stimulates the formation of those receptors. The result being that people who come out of that environment feel satisfied and happy with relatively low levels of dopamine release (ie.lots of receptors reacting to a little bit of dopamine= feelsgood), meaning they don't have to do much to stimulate it. ie. they don't need loads of gross food or drugs, alcohol etc.

On the other hand people who have lower level of dopamine receptors require much greater levels of stimulation to produce higher levels of dopamine in their brains to get the same effects. A lot of people this means that they take a shortcut through using things like alcohol and cocaine to flood their brains with dopamine, except in the long run the brain naturally compensates by further reducing the number of recepters and you get into the vicious cycle of addiction.

so all that stuff you talk about is obviously important but it seems like there is an even more fundamental level which is just having a mum that loves you and is there for you, with all the dual income stuff going on now is a bit of a worry.

Also on an anecdotal level I was a teacher for around 5 years and it seemed pretty noticeable when kids had their mum at home taking care of them. They seemed a lot more relaxed and even-keeled, I noticed that before I read the book so it wasn't just confirmation bias.

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[–] 22jam22 ago 

Good for you.. I lasted 7 years as a teacher fucking hated it with a passion. Let my certification expire and never even thought about renewing it.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] romainvicta 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

what were some of the red flags you didn't notice until later? for younger goats looking to marry.

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[–] middle_path 1 point 12 points (+13|-1) ago 

I would also like to add that doing things for a child that they can do for themselves pretty much turns off any proactive habits.

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[–] YashinNashi 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Exactly, if someone has never had to regulate their own behavior, all they did was just try to do as much whatever as possible and the only regulation came from their parents, then as soon as their parents aren't around, they're going to continue to act the same way without any regulating force.

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[–] clubberlang ago 

or initiative see also philippine culture

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[–] 22jam22 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Great point.. Its the nurture over nature debate to a degree.. But with good families and good house holds you get a very high return on good people being raised.. I think Japan is a good example.. If you took 100 Japanese kids and gave them to black single moms in ghettos in America how do you think those kids will turn out? Be honest.

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[–] 11567768? 1 point 35 points (+36|-1) ago 

I watched my dad chop firewood... From about 7:15 in the morning until the sun went down. An entire year's worth of wood for a family of 4 in 1 day. He was almost 50.

I was too small to help so I was on stacking duty. You see what I mean. I learned that extraordinary things can be done by normal men with a work ethic.

In the last week I built 200 linear feet of garden beds over wire to defend against gophers. It was about 10 hours a day work. It will feed my family all year with some effort. When I feel tired I think of my dad chopping wood. :)

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[–] Artofchoke 1 point 9 points (+10|-1) ago 

That's beautiful, Sir. Shit like this makes me sad I didn't have family.

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[–] Derpy_Derpson 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Start one. You’ll have it.

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[–] lordbeatlejuicethe1 1 point 1 point (+2|-1) ago 

you will when we start the coon rescue!!

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[–] AnmanIndustries 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

to defend against gophers.

Have you tried shooting them...

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[–] 11568845? 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

100 apple trees dead. Never seen even a hint of one other than holes. Been fighting them all day for months. Poison, gas, traps, water, propane. All to no effect.

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[–] Pawn 1 point 1 point (+2|-1) ago 

Grill those fucking gophers in front of the rest. Or you could tape a garden hose to the car's tailpipe and put the other end in the gopher hole and then tape the holes shut. Lets see that fucker breathe.

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[–] klobos 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

Part nature, part nurture. As with all things.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] HST 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Even though I wasnt raised well I still try to be the best I can be. And you're right, it's because i'm trying not to be complacent.

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[–] AndrewBlazeIt 1 point 9 points (+10|-1) ago 

How do I go about shoveling tattoos into my face?

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[–] 11574346? ago 

Wellll, I thought of a way that you could that, but you'd probably go to a prison for a really long time.

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[–] lordbeatlejuicethe1 4 points 0 points (+4|-4) ago 

lol i got all my fingwrs tatted

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[–] auto_turret 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Degenerate.

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[–] AndrewBlazeIt 1 point 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

Is that like Glyndwr?

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[–] MetalAegis 1 point 7 points (+8|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Low IQ leads to the inability to delay gratification.

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[–] middle_path 1 point 6 points (+7|-1) ago 

I think it has a lot to do with self worth and personal purpose. People who are lacking those two often fall into a lot of vices.

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[–] NotHereForPizza 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Compensation for traumatic events in their lives, typically

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[–] prairie ago 

Or at least, having lots of stored pain doesn't help someone be less-impulsive.

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