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[–] gromenawer 1 points 26 points (+27|-1) ago 

You hide in the bathroom closet. Over the thin gap, you see her looking at the mirror. She reach for her face and rip it off! it was a latex mask all along. She is Ellen Pao.

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[–] justanaccount 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

:-o

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[–] TheyKeepOnRising 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You are hiding in your bathroom closet. Over the thin gap, you see her looking into the mirror. She removes the latex mask covering her face.

Ellen Pao

She's chasing you now, she's running on all fours. As you look back you see she's covered in blood. My god, there's blood everywhere!

Posing as your wife - she's Ellen Pao!

Sharpening a knife - she's Ellen Pao!

Running in the woods from Ellen Pao.

Silencing your lies is Ellen Pao!

Murder is your prize from Ellen Pao!

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[–] Wmb102er 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I did not expect that.

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[–] Reddit-Admin 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

AIDS/HIV, Infidelity, She was a He.

In that order.

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[–] Thunderburg 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I would have a problem with 'She was a he' only because we talked about having kids. Other than that meh she is a she now.

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[–] Keyser_Soze 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Well that's sort of a big thing to hide from your significant other though. A bit of a trust issue. And then there's the fact that it could very greatly interfere with your sex life.

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[–] technologyisnatural 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

That they were a serial killer whose MO was to murder their betrothed a week before the wedding.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] KanakaHaole 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago  (edited ago)

To anyone who might try and shame me for "forcing her to think differently"

Unlike another aggregate site I know--that shall go unnamed--Voat doesn't seem to need paragraphs upon paragraphs of explanations detailing exactly what was going through your mind to be able to follow along with what you're saying. I think most people here would agree that typical SJW mentality is undeniably toxic to society and would not assume that you're a sociopath trying to kill the gays by asking your almostwife to exercise common sense when it comes to judging other people.

Aside from the censorship,shadow banning, two-facedness, hypocrisy, greed, masses of dumbasses, brigading, circlejerks, lack of "danger spaces", and general Paoism, it's literally the only thing I hated about that site.

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[–] Picalo 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

That's what my wife is now. You lucky bastard. I get screamed at and hit if I even bring it up.

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[–] SquarebobSpongebutt 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

There are these things today called divorces. Trust me, they only hurt for a little while and even then they hurt less than staying with the rotten bitch.

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[–] Tumblr_shitlady 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

That they don't love you and never have. They're only in it for the money etc.

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[–] Mrswhatshername 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Better a week before then a week after

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[–] Tumblr_shitlady 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

That's true.

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[–] Calza 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

You are both strictly religious and wait till you're wedding day for sexual activities. After a lovely wedding, very heartfelt and joyous occasion, You take your newly wed bride to your martial bed to consummate the marriage.

Only to find she's got a dick bigger than yours

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[–] ImmaBoat 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

So...if it was smaller that'd be ok?

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[–] Calza 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

obviously, who wants a wife without a penis? weirdos....

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[–] SquarebobSpongebutt 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Same size or no deal.

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[–] revofire 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I laughed at the last line so much.

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[–] goodoldgrim 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

That she has a terminal illness and is expected to die within days.

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[–] m-p-3 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Life can be awfully cruel..

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[–] revofire 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

But you still love each other anyway.

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[–] bhappybones 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

that 5 years earlier( a month before your emergency open heart surgery to save your life) she started an affair with a married man, which lasted for about 3 years until he found out she was sleeping with other people(other than yourself). That she was currently pregnant and the child was your best friends and that she wanted to be a family and you to raise the child. The reason for all of this was simply that she didn't want a child that was sick like you!

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[–] Mrswhatshername 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

That was very... specific

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[–] bhappybones 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Yes. ;)

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