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[–] birds_sing 0 points 37 points (+37|-0) ago 

Ex-wife had our divorce planned out before we were even married. Stuff like that is only supposed to happen in the movies, or to rich people. I can tell people that, and give them the evidence. They can see it's true. But it's not supposed to happen in real life with regular people. So people kinda treat it as surreal.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] InternetUser 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Which do you think?

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[–] discoball 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

How long did the relationship last?

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[–] birds_sing 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

6 months dating, then 3 years living together, then 1 year engaged, then pretty much immediately after our 1 year wedding anniversary she told me she was divorcing me.

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[–] HashTagFU 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Her reason since you implied you're not rich?

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[–] Havengul [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Citizenship probably.

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[–] SpeshulSnowflaek 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Why would she do that if you're not rich?

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[–] adeldor 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

The poster wrote above it was probably for citizenship.

[–] [deleted] 1 point 29 points (+30|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] TheodoreKent 0 points 30 points (+30|-0) ago 

I donno, that sounds like something you would do. I would be far more surprised if you said something like:

One time I had sex in the missionary position with no butt-stuff.

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[–] HashTagFU 1 point 11 points (+12|-1) ago 

And you want us to believe you're a "highly paid" orgy pro? That's rank amateur shit.

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[–] Al_Rubyx 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Hey everyone starts somewhere.

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[–] RumpRangerRick 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I think "she" is a big fat phony.

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[–] klobos 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

The question was something UNBELIEVABLE. We all very well believe this and don't question if it is true or not. So, what else you got that we might not believe?

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Sheitstrom 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

German movies don't count.

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[–] ninjajunkie 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

Survived a 0.72% blood alcohol level.

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[–] 8_billion_eaters 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

sheeeet.... I wake up and go to work with that.

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[–] amCassandraAMA 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

percent not promille

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[–] ginx2666 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Record of survived blood alcohol level (1.48%) belong to - surprise surprise - a Pole, so you have a long way to go before you even get to top 100.

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[–] ninjajunkie ago 

That one try was enough to be the top in my state. Don't figure I'll be trying again anytime soon.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Imadeaccount 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I'm far out of school, but I'm pretty sure that the Lethal Dose 50 is around 0.6, if he's using the American way of saying BAC...so that's pretty good.

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[–] ScottRockview 1 point 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

Which Canadian province do you live in?

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[–] ninjajunkie 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Canada is our hat.

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[–] Ruston 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

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[–] goblin_ghost 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

In the middle of a party, I once convinced a girl to stick a jump rope handle up her butt. Then without any communication, my friend took the other handle and started swinging it and I started jumping.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] GoogleStoleMyBike 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Semen, obviously.

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[–] vandilx 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I designed the first modern laptop computer.

It was 1985 and my third grade computer teacher saw me playing with my Trapper Keeper sideways and asked to see what I was doing. She then noticed I had taken a folder and drew a "screen" on the topside and a keyboard on the bottom side. The top screen had an Apple II prompt I drew on it. In the bottom, I had two 3" slits cut into the folder to serve as floppy disk drives complete with insertable/removable "floppy disks" I made by taking an empty check book and cutting it vertically so that the tear-off spine served as a grabbing "butt end" for two disks. I joyfully showed her how thin my "computer" was and that it could be used anywhere.

My teacher was stunned like she had seen something unworldly. She whisked me into her office and had me fill out some kind of form, and give her my folder from my Trapper Keeper, telling me she was enrolling me into a contest. I was in 3rd grade. I had no idea what the form was for, but I filled it out, gave her the Trapper Keeper folder, and never heard of it again. When I asked her for a status, she said she hadn't heard anything yet.

A few years later, I would see an IBM ThinkPad and chuckle at its design being very close to my old Trapper Keeper folder... whatever happened to it.

No one believes my story or my claim of prior art. But I know what happened.

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[–] adeldor 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

While impressive, I'm afraid you were not the first. I used one of these in 1983. It's a GRiD Systems Compass.

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[–] vandilx 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

My design was that of a modern laptop, where the entire thing opens like a clamshell with the hinge on the spine, and the entire top is the screen, not just a portion that opens up or only taking a portion of the opened top.

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[–] Rellik88 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Wow, neat.

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[–] 7135477? 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

Had an MFFFF fivesome

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[–] nottashill 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Was it as great as we think it would be?

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[–] 7136364? 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

It was pretty great, yeah.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] 7136203? 1 point 6 points (+7|-1) ago 

M

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[–] InternetUser 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Nice dude, were they hot?

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[–] 7137060? 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Yes

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[–] Ruston 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I've never done an 10...but i did 5 2's at the same time!

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[–] HashTagFU 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Details. Oh and I don't mind if you lie about how hot they were or how kinky the sex was.

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[–] 7137074? 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Details by PM only for obvious reasons

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[–] daskapitalist 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

When you were getting mugged at gunpoint so frequently that you started to get annoyed and /argue with the muggers/ "hey I just paid your buddies 10km back" and they let you go.

No one ever believes (because they've never seen how much of a colossal shithole Sub-saharan Africa is, or the sheer lack of self-preservation that leads to).

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[–] Havengul [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Man I've been mugged twice now and it sucks so much. Any more of it and I think I'll start getting dumb too.

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[–] pitenius 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I've been mugged twice. The first time, I successfully argued I had no money. They left. I'd forgotten about a $50 in my jacket. The second time, a high school kid pulled a knife on me. I think I broke his nose. It's my knife now, so I guess I mugged him (and busted his nose). People wouldn't believe that, but since you're OP, there you go.

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[–] 7136490? 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I worked for David Copperfield

Got high with a band after their first single went to #1 on the pop charts

Got drunk with a one-hit wonder just as he was releasing his first album (Henry Lee Summer)

Was a beta tester for Windows 95 (it arrived in a box of DMF 3" floppies

My grandfather was one of the pioneers of adding sound to movies, and developed a device to analyze alternating current waveforms in electric circuits - it was later developed by someone else to become the oscilloscope

I lived next door to the chief of police in Herington, KS - the guy that arrested Terry Nichols. I also had rented a moving van at the same place he and Timothy McVeigh rented the truck they used in Oklahoma City

I have stood on the 50-yard line at Arrowhead stadium, the old Texas stadium, and thee Olympic stadium in Montreal

I used my Boy Scout first-aid training to help a man who was injured in a motorcycle wreck

I was conceived the same day John F. Kennedy was killed

I watched Apollo 11 land on the moon on TV, and saw Neil Armstrong leave his footprint... And watched the beginning and the ending of the space shuttle

I saw Star Wars in the theater when it was released, and somewhere I have a few frames from the film

I'm the one guy who likes Hanover Street

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[–] 7138654? 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

This is extremely personally identifiable. You even implied you D.O.B.

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[–] HashTagFU 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I was conceived the same day John F. Kennedy was killed

So your parents only fucked once that year?

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