Have only been working with this particular therapist for 2 months, after my long time one retired. This one was assigned to me by my ACA state health insurance and county health board, and did not come through my psychiatrist like the last one who helped me be mindful on what it takes to make progress on managing my illness. In fact this therapist only recently received their accreditation in my state after coming here from a VA in Baltimore, and I am one of their first patients.
After the first two sessions I could already tell that the dynamic between us would be a hindrance toward my continued progress until it changed. After the third, when the session was being directed by them, and was on trying to get me to acknowledge and focus on addressing my 'white privilege' (their words) I left really discouraged and confused. I went back for one more session, and as it had not been an issue before I went to wait in their office like I had with my old therapist at the same county mental health facility. On their desk was a pile of questionnaires, identifying itself as coming from DHS, that were specifically regarding veterans with PTSD, anti government views, and their capacity for demonstrating 'sound tactical thinking.' It was pretty fucked with how much it focused on providing an accurate picture of how well me, or the other veterans, could use our military experiences to organize and resist the government. More crazy though was how it phrased things in regard to social views and media, like what did I think about social justice as a sign of being dangerous. It went through things like beliefs on 9/11, the Second Amendment, knowledge of U.S. history, views on central banking and economics. Whole fucking thing was very fucking Orwellian.
So after having had ten minutes to go through this, I hear the therapist coming. So I make it all like I never looked. Entire session, once again, directed by them, going through all the shit in the DHS questionnaire, and therapist nervously looking back over to their desk as topics are discussed, while I play dumb and just act as if I am confused and having a hard time managing my PTSD and the irritability it can make me express. Session over, go to leave, therapist for some reason adds on as I walk out the door how my sessions are covered by an NDA, and I can face prison time for discussing my treatment. Also am told to never be in their office again unless they let me in personally.
Wonderful lady at front desk as I walk out sees my face, ask me if, not when, I will be scheduling another session. She seems to want to add more, but I notice her nervously eying the CCTV cam and phones in front of her, as she out of character does not smile but looks down. Shrug my shoulders and say I do not know my current work hours yet, and I'll call to set one up when I can. I'm never going back.
With all the shit going down in the U.S. right now, I am really freaked the fuck out here that I am on some sort of monitoring list, and targeted for detention in the event of martial law. I honestly feel my life, and my family's, may be in danger with militarized law enforcement coming to take me away if some sort of event happens.
Has anyone else with PTSD, or undergoing mental health services had similar recent experiences? Anyone in the mental health field getting wind of shit like this?