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[–] Volcris 14 points 35 points (+49|-14) ago 

No. Not necessarily because of the act, but because of what it represents. It's considered culturally important to do so, whether it should be isn't important. Going against something so small says one of a couple things.

  1. You don't believe cultural norms should apply to you or are fair (a red flag, we all have to adapt to things we don't like, if you are unwilling to suffer even such a small inconveneince, it doesn't bode well for your ability to compromise long term)

  2. You are lazy

  3. You have hygiene issues

No matter what the reason, it's a no go for me. I work out and take care of myself for my partners (including taking care of hair down there), I expect my partners to do the same, and to want to keep themselves as clean as possible for their own esteem and pride.

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[–] mamwad [S] 6 points 34 points (+40|-6) ago 

Isn't questioning cultural norms just part of the whole freedom thing? Norms change from generation to generation.

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[–] Volcris 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

Absolutely, but as I said, effort vs payoff. Debating views online and giving a couple dollars towards things I believe in is very low effort and resource expenditure, but it makes me sharper when discussing points (an obvious life skill) and donations make me feel good in amounts that exceed the dollar value. Questioning is excellent and healthy. Choosing to upkeep your appearance in a way that lowers the confidence others have in you, when correcting the deficit would require minimal effort, is a dangerous assessment of value. It says you value doing what you want over doing what improves your success in the world.

And these assessments are natural. It's the reason high functioning people are attentive to how they present themselves. We all know how important first impressions are; if you don't do your best to improve the visible part of this when the effort is low vs the payoff, what other efforts are you unwilling to make to achieve your goals?

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[–] Brawndosaurus 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

She's free to not shave, just as I'm free to not date her. It's not really unattractive, but it indicates something else is wrong - like green hair or piercing and tattoos everywhere.

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[–] ragingtampon 5 points 13 points (+18|-5) ago 

Except that cultural norms change all the time. At one poit it was a norm for men to wear giant powdered wigs. My point is that norms change. Also, not shaving your pits is not unhygienic unless you consider all men to be unhygienic? I also wouldn't even consider it lazy, since again, men don't shave either. Are men lazy? Women didn't shave anything for thousands of years too, it's not like shaving is "normal" biologically.

Obviously Im not going to shame you for your preferences but you shouldn't shame women for something that is natural.

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[–] Onlio 4 points 1 points (+5|-4) ago 

Why are you fighting? Someone asked a question and he answered. There is no right or wrong answer. It was a question asking for an opinion. Relax. Just because you think one thing, does not mean that anyone/everyone has to think that way. That is how children think.

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[–] Volcris 3 points 1 points (+4|-3) ago 

Cultural norms do change, and if they do I will reivaluate, but in the current climate I follow the ones that are there. If wigs were the norm, I would wear one everyday, because it's such a small, small amount of effort to reduce the friction in my life. That's an important quality in a person; do they properly access the effort to payoff in their actions. People will look at you wierd if you don't shave, and shaving isn't hard, I do it every day. It's a very small effort that rewards you with a smoother day and better social interactions.

The kind of person who views that as a bad investment is an obvious liability. It signals how they access their world and how effectively they engage challenges and objectives.

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[–] weezkitty 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

It's considered culturally important to do so,

"This is how is has been done for xx long" is a really poor excuse. How could anything ever progress if everyone just stuck to the norms?

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[–] LetsBeNakedOutside 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Wait, so hair automatically means in your mind that they are unclean!?

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[–] JohnQCitizen 2 points 27 points (+29|-2) ago 

It depends. It wouldn't be an upside, but I'm not picky.

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[–] mamwad [S] 2 points 8 points (+10|-2) ago 

My thoughts exactly.

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[–] Zen-Zinxe 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I don't look at it in an upside/downside matter personally, I see it as a complete non issue. I mean unless it's freakshow length I don't get the big deal about it.

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[–] anonagent 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

No.

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[–] Vvswiftvv17 5 points 16 points (+21|-5) ago 

Hahahaha! (Pauses to catch breath) Hahahaha! Trust me, once you are married you don't care about any of that shit. Hell it's a good day if one of you doesn't fart during sex. After you have booth been so ill to have to wipe eachothers ass, it kind of makes everything else irrelevant. And yes, I've had to wipe my ill husband's butt after he broke five ribs, and he mine after I had a c-section. It's all par for the course. It's actually nice though, because it's one more thing you don't have to fret over.

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[–] GT2018 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

Huh. Guess I'm not getting married then.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Vvswiftvv17 7 points -3 points (+4|-7) ago 

Your loss.

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[–] toats 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

Your comment reminds me of a great quote from Six Feet Under:

Some pretty little thing catches your eye, and the next thing you know it's been 56 years and you've shit all over yourself in the movie theatre, and she the only one to help you clean it up. That's love.

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[–] CommonSense 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

such a shame that show went literally nowhere and was always far too depressing for its own good. The show seemed to have potential in the first season, and it occasionally had tiny gems like that.

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[–] Tommstein 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Marriage sounds awesome.

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[–] ragingtampon 2 points 11 points (+13|-2) ago 

As a bi girl, I don't mind at all. I mean, I don't mind it on guys. Granted i've only had one "friend" who didn't shave her pits but looking at the pics it doesn't make them less attractive to me. Just like I don't care if a guy has back hair, even though it's suppose to be "repulsive".

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] DoomMantia 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

She said back hair, not black hair.

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[–] PraiseIPU 1 points 10 points (+11|-1) ago 

I mostly don't care.

It's her choice to shave whatever she wants.

Same for bras, high heels, or anything else that looks uncomfortable. If you don't want to do it then don't.

except butthole hair. my girl has a hairy butthole, more than mine even. so I request her to shave it.

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[–] PhitPhil 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

How did that conversation about buttholes go? The one I had withat girlfriend "didn't go well"

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[–] PraiseIPU 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I don't really remember a straight conversation about it.

I think I framed it like "I like bald everything down there, it would be a nice treat if you shaved everything". Also I helped her do it the first few times. She trusted my hands more than her own. Also the trimming usually lead to sex so it's a win win.

I make very few demands on her. So the few suggestions I do have she usually obliges.

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[–] Men13 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

I did, but I won't anymore.

Not because of aesthetics. Because it most likely means she's making a 'political statement' and is a crazy femenazi.

I wouldn't date a woman with armpit hair for the same reason I wouldn't date a woman with a swastika tattoo

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[–] Zen-Zinxe 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Shit that's a good point. If it's because of a political statement it's very likely to be the cancerous kind.

[–] [deleted] 1 points 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Men13 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

True. And a woman with a swastika tattoo might also be asian where it's a completely different symbol with different meaning.

But i don't live in asia. So it's irrelevant.

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[–] Philosopher_King 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Well...no and yes. I don't mind skipping a few days, but not a complete jungle. I even trim mine so it's not obnoxious.

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[–] mamwad [S] 1 points 3 points (+4|-1) ago 

Nothing wrong with trimming the hedges. Sometimes it is necessary.

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