I'm just curious if other men's experiences match my own or if I am an outlier in this. There's a common narrative of prevelant sexual harrassment against women in all aspects of daily life, and an outrage towards it. However, in my little bubble of media and influences nothing is ever mentioned about the male experience. I am not a pretty man, but even I have experienced tons of this so I assume others do as well. I also assume it's much worse for extremely attractive men. At work I have had two girls, and a flamboyant guy on another occasion, stand behind me and rub my shoulders while I'm at my desk. Also at work a girl grinding herself on me in the elevator as her friends laugh. Lots of sexual innuendo and jokes. Outside of work and with alcohol/drugs it increases exponentially. Girls rubbing their butts on me. Grabbing me, a few times my crotch. Me being friendly but not showing interest, girls have tried to kiss me. The only one that I remember really bothering me a lot was a drunk girl I wasn't interested in straddling me at a party and licking the side of my face and trying to put her tongue in my ear. Another I remember a girl getting super pissed and making a scene at a party because I kept turning my head as she tried to kiss me more and more aggressively, and I kept trying to let her know I wasn't interested without embarrassing her or hurting her feelings. Still, for me I have never considered these things a big deal, and yes i admit flettering despite not being interested. I have just been thinking about it lately after reading about sexual harrassment against women and the outrage that follows. Is this common for you as well? What are some of your experiences?
Sort: Top
[–] RedSocks157 0 points 13 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago (edited ago)
Depends on how you define it. According to the femnazi definition, the chick who eyed me at the gym this morning practically raped me!
[–] zaiguy 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
No, you have it backwards. By eyeing you up at the gym, you were line-of-sight raping her, you cishet shitlord.
[–] wicketywahwah 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
I actually have a pet peeve with this,putting aside that yes it happens and everyone laughs about it.Women have no idea how to grope! A bunch of times i have been in a club or event the women who have gone the grope have straight up slammed their hand into my balls no gentle feel or a cheeky brush just bam ive felt me some balls even though they exploded i still felt them. Mjölnir causes less damage
[–] Harkozey [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Ha, true. How to grope a man should be in sex ed. You could slap the hell out of a pens and it will bounce back mocking you, but lightly tap the balls wrong and there will be agony.
[–] fleas 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Oh course I have. Never any quid pro quo harassment but that's probably due to a lack of female supervisors above me. But the other stuff I just ignore; I have a simple rule if my feelz get ruffled I self examine first to determine if its just me being a cry baby or if its justified.
[–] ClitoralCommander 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
That's a good way to look at it. The issue is: where do you draw the line?
[–] fleas 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
My line is simple. If I wouldn't mind if someone I liked or was attracted to did it, I won't fault anyone else for it. There's no double standards for me.
[–] dimer 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Never experienced anything like that. Maybe because I go to clubs and mass events very rarely. Or maybe just because I'm unattractive, who knows.
[–] eqdw 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
In highschool, this one girl thought it was hilarious to consistently sexually harass me in gym class. Usually it was just making sarcastic pretend-compliments about my appearance, but occasionally she'd (for example) run up and smack my butt.
Friends thought it was hilarious, they weren't supportive. That's not surprising. What's surprising to me is that when I brought it up to the administration, they flatly denied any such thing was possible, and refused to listen to anything I said.
[–] bill.lee 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I suppose I have a problem with how sexual harassment has become defined. If that's the standard as applied in the post, its not a definition I adhere to. My perception of sexual harassment is primarily the "Hey, want a promotion? Well, come in here and fuck me." I get that it can extend to unwanted sexual advances but for me, personally, none of what's being described in that post should be considered sexual harassment. By my standard, I've never been harassed but the standard as presented in the post--yeah, numerous times. Not to be overly-dismissive here, but I certainly didn't mind it.
[–] Harkozey [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
It's a good point. I would probably include a little more than you but I doubt we're too far off. I guess this is why I put it in quotes. I'm not sure what to call it, and just using the term as it's been applied to stuff I have been reading lately. Shrug, it's ok to be dismissive, aside from the girl licking my face none of these things have ever bothered me either.
[–] Bleeding_Potato 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Years ago when I was in high school, I used to deal with two women who liked to grab my butt for no reason. I had no interest in these girls, since at the time I was dating someone who went to a neighboring school. On top of this, they also stalked me, trying to follow me home, to work, even following me when I was going on dates. Lucky for me, they never figured out where I exactly lived but would show up at my after school job and would grab at me in any location they could. After a few months of this, they then tried to solicit me for sex, yet again, I'd refuse because I was already dating someone. Reporting them never did anything. It took a year for the two of them to stop bothering me. Last time I checked, both of them had kids to random guys right out of high school and are unemployed. I still don't know why they did that.
If you include what others count as sexual harassment, I've been hit on by random married women while grocery shopping but I really don't think that counts.
[–] Harkozey [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Wow that sucks man. I can easily imagine nobody caring when you went to report it too, stuff like that is seriously messed up.
[–] Bleeding_Potato 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Yeah, I was laughed at and given the response: "They like you, you should try to go out with one of them." I'd imagine if I actually did, the end result wouldn't have been pretty.
[–] Deathstalker 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
I had some fat chick out of no where pinch my nipple through my shirt when I was walking through a club. I ignored it.