Archived Coworker is subtly trying to assert his dominance over me (Advice)
submitted ago by anonykins
Posted by: anonykins
Posting time: 5.2 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
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9 upvotes, 0 downvotes (100% upvoted it)
Archived Coworker is subtly trying to assert his dominance over me (Advice)
submitted ago by anonykins
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[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
[–] anonykins [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Thank you for the advice. I will take it. But in the meantime, should I take notes just to appease him, ignore him altogether, or talk to him and say, "If you want to take notes, that's fine, but I'm going to try to actively to participate in the meeting and feel taking notes would hinder my focus". or something?
[–] arrggg 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Your gut feeling sounds right, you should say exactly that next time, while giving him back the pad and paper.
One-up him too. Grab a nice new leather binder to bring to the meeting, if there is something important (or the boss says something) write it down, otherwise follow your gut feeling and participate. You have a limited amount of time to jump in and make a first impression at a new job. Those first few meetings are a great time to be the energetic employee with new ideas. Plus, they may have hired you for exactly that reason.
Have some fun with it, they're not gonna fire you the first week.
[–] level_101 ago
Only take a note if it is worth doing. Otherwise, and you don't have to say it out loud.
Respond with "Thats cute".
Dont burn bridges if you dont have to. Depending on your industry it could be really useful to have a "good" reference in the future from an existing employee or maybe even a friend.
Some people just come off harsh and its easier to approach it with humor than anything else. If he continues, he may be trying to intimidate you out of success and make sure you feel too weak to compete. If that happens. Simply remember "Oh, Thats cute". Maybe even say it once and walk away.
Its not really offensive but it gets the point across.
[–] 0fsgivin ago (edited ago)
/v/arrggg Solved your problem for you...you need to listen to what that person said. Forget all the rest of these people. Not their fault they tried. You need to follow that advice.
If your in a job were meetings are common. Get a nice leather covered binder or journal and a nice pen and bring that with you to meetings. Only bring it out if you feel that you would need to take notes or see others doing so.
[–] Vvswiftvv17 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
Pee on his shoe. That's what my dogs did to me when they tried to out alpha me, it always worked.
[–] ValkyrieHerja 1 point 2 points 3 points (+3|-1) ago
I have no advice, just want to say he sounds like a dick and I feel for you 😥
[–] TehGlitch 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
IMHO, given the fact that you might have to work together for some time, don't try to create unnecessary conflict if he doesn't seem hostile, first try to figure out if he's genuinely trying to help or he's really a prick trying to tell you what to do in order to establish some hierarchy.
[–] sachianakatoni ago
At work I do not take orders from anyone but my Supervisor. If the shit hits the fan I can say my Supervisor told me to do this not some jerk I work with & why would I even listen to a person with the same rank as me? Tell the guy if he wants notes to take his own notes- you are not his slave. People tend to be treated how we allow people to treat us. Hold your ground. Let us know how it goes.
[–] Complex_N_Motion ago
I assume you are male.
Are you sales. Service. Design. ???
[–] anonykins [S] ago
Controller. I work directly for the owner.
[–] blacksmithsasquatch 1 point -1 points 0 points (+0|-1) ago
Take notes. Take the best god damn notes in the world.