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[–] 18117024? ago 

The thing about the army was that I got sent home after about 4 weeks because I had a "mental breakdown". I did have the option to either stay or leave but I chose to leave. Looking back at it I kinda do wish I would have just bit the bullet and stayed but it's too late now.

being around only men

There are sadly women in the military here, and they're not seperated from the men. They were all acting like cunts and they're just there for pr and instagram posts.

Tell us more about your circumstances

I'm turning 24 this year, I'm still young and still look young which I'm happy about, I'm not fat or anything. I live with my mother and my older siblings live next door. I have a younger sister but she ran away when he was 12, cut all contact with the family, changed her name and turned into some crazy SJW, I don't think much about her since it's been so long.

Even though I live with my mother I'm still independent so it's not like I'm leeching of her. I have lived alone previously while going to school so I'm mostly capeable of being independent in that sense. I don't have a job, I can't hold up a normal schedule for more than a month or two before I have to tap out, it was the same with school and I honestly don't understand how I got through that without failing. I'm in the process of getting back into work again but I'm really not looking forward to it because it's going to be just like the last time and the time before that.

My biggest problems are mental I think, if I was just stronger mentally I feel like I could fix my other problems more easily. It's the anxiety that's worst, even if I'm aware of it it's still there and it's really fucking annoying not being able to do something as simpel as shop for groceries without feeling like something really bad is doing to happen or something. I have no attentino span even for things that interest me and I get mentally exhaused so easily even while doing just simple shit like changing the tires on my car. I have never taken any medication long term, I was taking some minor anti-depressants for a short while but I just quit after some months

As for physical problems the most notable is post-nasal drip which I assume has been caused by the mold in the house I grew up in. This makes me feel unwell almost all the time but it's worst at night as it disrupts my sleep. I read something saying this could also restricting blood flow to the brain and reduce oxygen intake which might explain why I'm so mentally exhaused all the time. I've been told that there is not much you can really do about it but I should probably see the doctor again even though I don't expect to hear anything new. I don't really like talking about it because I feel like a pussy making excuses.

There is probably nothing I want more than to see our people prosper once again, I don't care what happens to me in the process but it doesn't hurt to hope for the best. Being a good and strong husband and father would be absolutely ideal, but I can't imagine myself being able to do something like that, at least not like this

>>13156974

There is a small gym about 10 minutes away and it's one of those staff less gyms that you register online and you get an entry card or something, I think it's $25 or so a month. I don't know why it's so hard for me to just go. Would buying equipment like a barbell and a rack and just work out at home be good enough or do I have to go to the gym?

I have looked for martials art clubs in my area but it's nothing, I have my own punching bag which I practice with onec or twice a week but that won't teach me how to fight.

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[–] 18121536? ago 

You and I sound a lot alike on every level besides the physical problems. Listen to what the others are saying, join the gym. Ultimately, however, it comes down to your own will. You can use excuses to get out of anything. You have to want to improve yourself bad enough to overcome that nagging voice in that back of your head that begs you to stop. I still deal with that voice every single goddamn day.

Give yourself a short-term goal. Don't do something just for the sake of doing it, thats how you get lost in the monotony and lose your drive to grow. Ask yourself this when you wake up: "how bad do I want it". If you want it bad enough, you will forge a path, no matter whats in the way.

Don't give in to despair, even when you're faced with issues of enormous consequence. Don't be afraid to fail when confronted with such issues, failure is apart of learning, learning is a part of growing.

Finally, be a man. By this I mean you probably have an ideal vision of what a man should be. There is nothing on this planet that can stop you from becoming this person. Everything you do from this point forward should be about that. If you're having trouble with a decision, ask yourself: is that what that man would do? When you want to take a break or slack off, ask yourself: is this what that man would do?

I know a kindred spirit when I see one, we can do this, one step at a time.

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[–] 18117028? ago 

Would buying equipment like a barbell and a rack and just work out at home be good enough or do I have to go to the gym?

No, you have to go to the gym. You need to get outside of your head a bit, and that involves getting outside of your house. Don't think of it as an option, just do it. You'll thank yourself later.

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[–] 18117030? ago 

Alright, I'll go this monday

Is 5x5 a good enough program? I've never lifted barbells before but I guess if I start light it should be alright

I don't even know if they have barbells there, I tried to go in there to see what equipment they had but the door is locked