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[–] 17699148? ago 

Have less impulses. Be bland, stop being such a tryhard faggot. Stop using your intuition. Don't resent order or rules. When you get uppity like a dope-fiend who needs his next hit, say to yourself "warmth, stone and steel" like a mantra and become heat, stone and steel. When you've become sufficiently bland, solid and stoic, down to your marrow, after a few months of practice or more, you can try going your own way somewhat.

". . . .between logical, orderly, conscious, rule-following reason and fluid, self- organizing, habit-governed, unconscious, chaos-infused intuition."

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1822877.Chaotic_Logic?from_search=true#

This book might be useful to you. Go to libgen.io or gen.lib.rus.ec if you want to download it.

"If and when you meet The Buddha,

Kill him.

Then come back

And sit.

Sit

In Zazen.

Be.

Enlightenment is there,

Before it arrives."

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/402843.Zen_Mind_Beginner_s_Mind?from_search=true

Read this too because you're a retard.