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[–] 16457274? ago 

this one time, before my awakening, I was dating a chick here illegally from Honduras and I thought everything was fine until I found her texts with her ex. So, I called ICE and had her ass deported 4 days later

<I was like, "Look, I'm not bitter about the breakup or anything but if you and I can't be together then you're just gonna have to go ahead and dafuqq out of my country

(picks teeth)

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[–] 16467349? ago 

A true patriot.