Profile overview for Tambourine.
Submission statistics

This user has mostly submitted to the following subverses (showing top 5):

4 submissions to BetaHate

3 submissions to guns

1 submissions to AskVoat

1 submissions to funny

1 submissions to IAMA

This user has so far shared a total of 11 links, started a total of 2 discussions and submitted a total of 83 comments.

Voting habits

Submissions: This user has upvoted 78 and downvoted 0 submissions.

Comments: This user has upvoted 78 and downvoted 0 comments.

Submission ratings

5 highest rated submissions:

5 lowest rated submissions:

President of Turkmenistan's Ludicrously Beta Anti-ISIS Video, submitted: 8/7/2017 5:40:05 PM, 0 points (+1|-1)

Obama Reacts to Being Called "Magnificent" by Trump During Inauguration, submitted: 1/20/2017 7:01:45 PM, 2 points (+3|-1)

34 y/o Mormon virgin whose mom is his wingman goes on a date, submitted: 7/14/2017 2:17:26 AM, 3 points (+3|-0)

Have experience running a 24/7 hotline? Any help appreciated., submitted: 10/3/2017 11:26:24 PM, 3 points (+3|-0)

Newb shooter since October, tend to group near 7 o'clock (7 yards, Glock 19). You experts got any tips? :), submitted: 1/22/2017 1:32:47 AM, 5 points (+5|-0)

Comment ratings

3 highest rated comments:

Former dominatrix, voluntarily swapped $250+ per hour for a $40k/year "desk job." AMA! submitted by Tambourine to IAMA

Tambourine 1 points 8 points (+9|-1) ago

yes. these are the hard and vital life lessons that are now cemented in me:

  1. don't settle in life -- not in work, and especially not in relationships. Don't marry just to be married; be with someone you can be fully yourself around, no matter what. Otherwise, you will never be happy. You'll grow over time but only develop more secrets from your partner. also, look for women in unusal places; the smart ones don't go to bars to find a mate.

  2. You don't want what you think you want. One lawyer I met said that when he was in law school, he would look at the books in the library and think, "My dream is to make a case that ends up in one of those." Well, he made several; he is on first-name terms with Supreme Court justices; he has it all - money, power and reputation. He is deeply isolated and miserable, and in his mid 50s considering a career change to become a novelist.

  3. Learn to be vulnerable. The more you ignore your vulnerability, the tougher the consequences. I met a c-suite exec who was 4 years sober from alcoholism - drinking was how he managed his self-doubt, and it was how he covered up his feelings of weakness. When we met his greatest regret was not having reached the point he was at (finally coming to grips with his vulnerability) before having lived over half of his life.

  4. Be flexible. don't just stay the course because you said you would - that is ego. Instead, use your reasoning and cut your losses when it is the logical thing to do.

  5. The less you try to "prove" to others, the better your life will be. Most of the men I saw had 5,000 sq foot houses, luxury cars, serious careers, and beautiful wives 15 years younger. They were unhappy because they did all this for the wrong reasons - a "make my parents proud" complex, a "make other men jealous" complex or a "realize my teenage dream of drinking an $800 glass of scotch in a private jet" complex. None of these things are ultimately satisfying. In the end, try to introspect as much as you can, and always ask yourself "who am I doing this for?" Answer yourself with brutal honesty, and change course if need be.

That's about the best I can do. Will edit if I come up with more.

My first time requesting 30.06 permission to carry, denied. Thought y'all might find interesting. submitted by Tambourine to guns

Tambourine 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago

Thanks, I agree. I will not be going there, but fair IS fair.

Former dominatrix, voluntarily swapped $250+ per hour for a $40k/year "desk job." AMA! submitted by Tambourine to IAMA

Tambourine 1 points 6 points (+7|-1) ago

well, for one, men who wouldn't have given me the time of day otherwise were quite literally groveling at my feet because of a sexual feeling. It's a power trip for about 5 minutes; then it just makes you feel like everything you do is ultimately not going to matter or be respected because beauty (and, really, youth) have such power.

on one level, I developed tremendous respect for my clients and their acheivements. But also, they showed me a side of themselves that was extremely under-developed. Despite some amazing conversations, I felt constantly saddened by the fact that these men mostly just needed some very basic needs to be met. It was never really about the fetish; it was about isolation and the need for intimacy. Not even the need for deep intimacy at first, but the need for basic sexual and emotional acceptance.

This is really how it was. Within an hour of meeting someone I sometimes shared with him the most intimate experience in his entire life. Again, it's a power trip for a second, but when I stepped back to think about it, I felt very, very sad that things were like this. They shouldn't be like this, not with someone whose wife has known him longer than I've even been alive. And my feeling is that this isn't just a symptom found among the rich; it's just that these were the men who could afford to do something about it.

I hope this makes sense - it's hard for me to articulate this, but it's one of the reasons I did the AMA.

Basically, and I really mean this - I encountered unspeakable amounts of isolation, a complete lack of experience with genuine human connection, among some of the richest, smartest, most ambitious and best-traveled men on earth. I had a full-grown man crying on me, often for the first time in years, several times a month. The brokenness was almost unbearable for me, and it made me very pessimistic about pretty much everything.

3 lowest rated comments:

Former dominatrix, voluntarily swapped $250+ per hour for a $40k/year "desk job." AMA! submitted by Tambourine to IAMA

Tambourine 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago

I don't feel that my experiences qualify me to share any valuable opinion on these points.

Former dominatrix, voluntarily swapped $250+ per hour for a $40k/year "desk job." AMA! submitted by Tambourine to IAMA

Tambourine 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago

not nearly the same earning potential :)

Former dominatrix, voluntarily swapped $250+ per hour for a $40k/year "desk job." AMA! submitted by Tambourine to IAMA

Tambourine 1 points 0 points (+1|-1) ago

not planning on it buddy ;)