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[–] momdadibrokethevase 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

Good story. You write well.

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[–] drakesdoom 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

It sounds like you need to talk to someone who can arrange accidents.

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[–] Severus-Snape 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

As someone with Celiac disease (not Crohn's, but I have similar reactions when I eat the wrong thing), this infuriates me. Typical hams, having a complete disregard for the needs of others.

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[–] momdadibrokethevase 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

I know a ham who is being tested for digestive issues, one of which is Celiac. She's been suffering a lot, so I said encouragingly "that'd be great if it was Celiac! It's easily fixable." Right? You'd think. It barked at me, "NO! I won't give up my gluten!"

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[–] Severus-Snape 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Lol do they realise that if they do have celiac disease and they continue eating gluten, it could potentially kill them? Before I was diagnosed, I was in so much pain that I went into shock and was seeing white. I thought that was it for me. Hams are so stupid.

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[–] shiznitleader 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

*gluttony

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[–] EgotisticalGiraffe 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Menopause at 30

I guess I forgot this happened to fat people. It's like nature is telling them they fucked up and lost their baby making privileges.

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[–] Foundafatty ago 

How is that even possible?

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[–] momdadibrokethevase ago 

I never knew this. If hams have early menopause, then they're less fertile obviously. Means they'll hopefully bring fewer kids into this world that they will screw up.

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[–] retardedchicken5a 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Most obeasts I see have a perpetually angry/tumblr expression on their faces, and absolutely zero manners or decorum.

I ran into an obeast today at the grocery store, where, as I was standing in an aisle going about my business, I suddenly found a swollen, plump beetus hand in my face. Fucking lardguzzler didn't even have the courtesy to be polite and ask that I move; it just hungrily grabbed its buttery beetus snack as though it hadn't eaten in days (in actuality, probably just minutes). I thought I was going to get bitch-smacked by the Pillsbury thing.

This is nowhere near as bad as OP's obeast, but what is it with these fucking hams and their complete lack of decency?!

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[–] FPHrefugee 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Sugar can lead to increase in inflammation of the bowel, which is why it's bad for crohns disease. Also omg fuck that hambeast.

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[–] drink_some_water 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Poor girl, what a terrible thing to have to deal with. Can you imagine having a relative like that?

The Crohns disease is probably a nightmare as well.

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[–] Demons 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Ham has no manners. Take take take. If it were a proper human, it would first ask her niece if she could have one. That's how you teach children manners, by leading by example. If this ham has kids of her own i bet they'd all grow into bratty selfish pigs, just like their mother.

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[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I would've kicked her ass out after the second time she stole food, and called the cops if she protested. Who does that to a child?!

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[–] NoFatPinUps [S] 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

Unfortunately, I have a doormat personality. I'm working on it but I'm still very passive. The best I could do was to put the box out of reach and throw several fatshaming comments.

And the speed... The speed at which it moved to grab the sandwich. Like a fat Bilbo moving to take the ring. Such a miserable, infuriating creature.

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[–] VegetarianZombie1 2 points -2 points (+0|-2) ago 

A doormat personality? Are you so fucking passive that you won't stand up for a child whose only source of lunch is being willfully and maliciously stolen out of her mouth?! That's beyond doormat.

If you allow her to steal food from a child with minimal consequence, she knows she can do whatever she wants to you. Grow a spine and ban her from your house and any family events you're in charge of. If she shows up, tell her she has thirty seconds to leave before you call the cops. Extreme? Maybe, but have some self respect and a care for those who can't stand up for themselves like your niece and show the lard you won't be bullied any longer! The time for being nice has passed.

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