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[–] WeedLord 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Oh boy, that's the mentality alright. Better to fail with excuses than try to succeed and work for it.

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[–] iammeandyouareme [S] ago 

It was fun explaining fat logic to my friend. She had looked at me and said "Why the hell would she not go switch out her skates? Why is she blaming the skates for her inability to stay upright?" and I said "Simple. Fat logic. Better to blame the equipment rather than take responsibility for the fact that her weight is causing her ankle to bend sideways in the skates. We did our part, she can go fail now."

The funny thing is there is a girl I know who is just like this, except she's skinny. But she blames her inability to skate well on everything but her lack of practice. She lives in such a state of delusion that she simply cannot be a bad skater. She can barely jump (she's been skating about as long as me, mind you), and cannot do crossovers because her skates aren't right (she barely can do a forward edge). It's almost comical to watch and listen to, but then it gets obnoxious because she asks everyone else if it's her skates. She's convinced I beat her in competition because I used "skating music" (a song from Ice Castles) for my program, not because I'm a better skater. On paper she and I are the same level. On ice is a completely different story.

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[–] Literallyretarded 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago  (edited ago)

"Dear tubblr

I am a semi-pro ice skating mermaid. The other day I went to the local rink with my friend. As I was gliding gracefully on the ice some shitlord approached. Of course she was obviously jealous of my beautiful cuuuurves, not to mention her friend couldn't keep his eyes off of me. She had the nerve to tell me that my skates needed to be switched. I rolled my eyes at this amateur. Obviously she didn't know anything about skating. I continued to do a routine worthy of Olympic gold while she slid and fell over and over again. Her date kept ogling me. She kept complaining about being cold. Of course. She was an underweight twig who could only dream of having a mermaid body such as mine. After my vigorous workout (that I do 6 days a week) I glided up to her like an angel and said "Looks like my skates are fine, shitlord". Everyone cheered and high fived me. Her date handed me his number and said he was ready to get with a real woman and we could go out that weekend, he was going to dump her ass at an ED clinic to address her anorexia. Another win for the fat girl! "

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[–] Svoodie 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

You forgot the part where everyone started applauding.

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[–] Mexican_jumping_bean 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I always enjoy these satirical tubblr posts

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[–] iammeandyouareme [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Me, too. This one probably nails it on the head, too.

To be fair, the rink was quite cold today. But I also have Raynaud's so my toes and hands get cold no matter how much I bundle up. But some rainy nights get the rink extra chilly in the morning.