[–] KJkrunch 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago (edited ago)
I see your request for a spin from the fat's perspective, OP. I'll give it a whirl. I'm probably gonna make it tl;dr though as it's my first fatfiction.
Dear Tumblr,
Today was just the worst day ever! Had to waffle stomp before I could even head out the door today and what's worse mom wasn't around to cook me any breakfast! I didn't want starvation mode to kick in. :( Had to think of something fast...there's a Burger King about 5 minutes away, so naturally I ran to my car and drove over, desperate for a meal. I've had so many starvation mode incidents in the past I happen to be 400 pounds, I gotta eat on time if I want this to go away!
Just my luck, the drive thru happened to be out of order that day, but I managed to get inside the establishment.
There was the most horrible shitlord in front of me in the line though. I thought he looked kind of cute and he even held his gaze at me for more than 2 seconds, he was probably interested in me, but society's standards said it would be taboo. I noticed the shitlord had ordered two burgers with a large soda and fries, incredible! We were a perfect match, destined to meet here, it's why the drive thru was out of order I'm sure!!! I quickly made the exact same order as him but since I had missed breakfast, added some bacon and cheese to my burgers, now.
Feeling a bit more stunning and brave, I approach the skinny man and explain my condishuns, hoping he'd understand and we could find some common ground.
But just then my heart sunk (and my bowels) as the shitlord contested that we didn't order the same thing. The fucking nerve of that asshole!! He mentioned having a sick wife. Well maybe she wouldn't be so sick if she wasn't an anorexic slut and throwing up every meal, Jesus! He proceeded to shut me down but just then my meal was rung up and ready. I desperately dashed to my food and clutched it close, just as I was about to gallantly stride out the door and bravely told him off. I'm sure someone applauded.
It's been an hour since then and I've been triggered into staying in my room. I'm hungry again but afraid to go outside, I cannot stand these awful shitlords. :(
Please donate to my tip jar so I can order a pizza. Much luv, XXOOXXOO
This was disgusting to write, I'm going to shower
[–] legendaryshitlord 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Ham's version.
REEEE *squeal *snort REEEEE REEEEEE!
tl:dr REEEEEEE!!
[–] meunster 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
Ham edition.
Just a friendly reminder to my fellow friends, fatshionistas, and tumblrites:
Fatshaming knows no bounds. Ignorance and hypocrisy can find you anywhere…even in a burger king (my personal safe space).
As many of you know, today I went to go get my blood work done to prove that you can definitely be healthy even if you’re 150lbs overweight (proof below!). The doctor told me not to eat before the test and I was running late, so I skipped lunch and just had two glasses of orange juice before squeezing out the door to make it in time.
By late afternoon I was obviously starving and udderly stressed from the doctor bringing up my weight, so I decided to stop at my favorite burger king. And let me tell you, this place is nice. I usually feel so calm in the yellow fluorescent glow…like I’m on the beach wearing my #fatkini, listening to the waves and the sound of a nearby ice cream cart. But today was different. Today there was a skinny person in My Burger King.
I tried to be nice and to give him a chance, I really did. Usually I think skinnies looked like poor, starved animals, but this one was starved in a way that almost made me forget his thin privilege and feel bad for someone other than myself. When I heard him order the same exact meal as me, I reached out. I was so excited that we could eat the same exact thing and look so different. Plus it was like…blood work proof and proof of my super slow metabolism, all in one day. Anyway, he bit the hand that was trying to feed him right off. The misogynistic, “fitness” obsessed twat told me that we couldn’t eat the same thing because I put cheese and bacon on my sandwiches!! I didn’t even bother trying to tell him about the orange juiced lunch, because he was busy SCREAMING that he wasn’t going to eat all this food by himself. At this point my blood sugar was so low that everything was buzzing around me. I’m pretty sure he said something about being sick and eating a lot and throwing it up. Tbh I can’t feel bad for him even if he does puke after eating because 1. thin privilege overshadows all and 2. wasting BK is just fucking unethical.
I couldn’t even enjoy every last bite of my sandwiches and fries and drink. Or the refill of my drink. The fries were extra salty though from my tears... so there’s the one single good thing a skinny person has done for me.
p.s. does anyone know how I can contact my local news about this??
[–] neveragainfatty 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
so I skipped lunch and just had two glasses of orange juice before squeezing out the door to make it in time.
What a beautiful sentence. Orange juice: cause sugar water with vitamin C is healthy at that level... Straight up fucking up any blood glucose test done. The fiber in the fruit is SUPER important for controlling how quickly your body releases insulin.
Squeezing out the door :) It obviously meant it was squeezing the fresh oranges for juice while it was comfortably exiting out of the HAES approved doors it had to install on its butter golem cave.
[–] redherpbluederp 0 points 16 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago (edited ago)
You didn't have to be an asshole about it.
You didn't have to fucking start talking to a stranger, make assumptions, attempt to validate your illusions, and then decide to get offended when said stranger doesn't give a fuck about your fee fees.
[–] Shitelord772 0 points 18 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago
And even if you did eat the meal yourself, and did have exactly the same order...it doesn't mean you do it all the time.
[–] legendaryshitlord 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Or that you have the same activity level.
[–] noncrazycatlady 0 points 39 points 39 points (+39|-0) ago
But she brought it up in the first place so.......
[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
But like OP totally didn't have to be an asshole (telling the truth) about it ya know! OP should have fawned over the fatass like all its fat friends!!
Asshole is good. They need reality checks crammed down their throats
[–] neveragainfatty 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
It's a wonderful sense of satis-fat-ion making them get so upset they call me names. One day one of them will push it past verbal and I will be so happy unloading my pent up sadism on them.
[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 62 points 62 points (+62|-0) ago
This is my first go at this. Be nice.
Dear Tumblr,
I went to Burger King today. I rarely go there because I normally eat so healthily. But I was having a good day; I just done a PR 10km in 15mins followed by a new PR of 350kg squat x 5. I was feeling pretty good about myself because I barely even broke a sweat while I watch all these skinny anorexics pound away on the treadmills looking like hell. There was probably a malnourishment thing going on there too. Some super ripped guy even gave me his number ... well, begged me to take it is probably more accurate. I tried to hold him back, but he was relentless in insisting I have it. He said "he couldn't bare not to get to know me" and that he "was hypnotised by my curves." Pretty standard stuff, right? But moving on.
So, I was at Burger King and there they were, the scum that would proceed to try to ruin my day. I was minding my own business taking in the strange scenery that is Burger King, because as I say, I almost never go there. Both of us happened to order at the same time and that's where it started. I got two sandwiches, large fries, and large drink, which might be a lot to some people, but I needed to replenish my sugars after my workout. I never eat this much, but it was a special occasion. As coincidence would have it, this skinny moron happened to order the exact same thing. I pointed this out to them because I've been saying for years that I don't eat any more than skinny people, I'm just bigger because that's the way some of us are built.
Then, out of nowhere, they unleash on me a barrage of typical fatphobic abuse for absolutely no reason. I was told that I must eat like this every meal, every day and that my food somehow was more than theirs even though we ordered EXACTLY the same thing. So much was their disdain at another human being that they barely even looked up from their phone. Rude much? I didn't push the issue because I'm the bigger person (tee hee). No doubt it was all just petty jealously, which I'm sure about because they went on to make up all this crap about how half of it wasn't even for them or some shit. I mean, how insecure about food and obsessed with weight must you be that you can't even own up to eating what someone bigger does? Total BS, obviously. Definitely eating disorder, like all of them.
However, the day wasn't over. I said I dropped the issue, and I did, but everyone overheard. The looks on their faces starring at this shitlord were of disgust, as I would expect. The whole place was silent and I saw the fear spread across their face as they realised they had shortsightedly backed themselves into a corner. Everyone started pointing out that they should apologise for being so unnecessarily rude for NO REASON. Needless to say, being the coward that they were, they ran out leaving their food behind they were so ashamed. This was followed by cheers from everyone in the restaurant at being rid of such dirt. When everyone calmed down, the manager took me aside and said my meal was free and that the shitlord was banned forever. They wanted to call the local representatives for my bravery to be acknowledged, but I declined. I mostly feel sorry for them and I don't need accolades.
Anyway, that's the story of how a would be bully got their just desserts. And I might have had a dessert too (tee hee).
[–] Mitchhhhhh 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
The part where the entire restaurant started clapping was missing, besides that good attempt!
[–] ShaddamCorrino 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
This is great, but I don't think it'd fly. It's way too coherently written for a hambeast. I truly enjoyed it, while with typical tubblrina posts I have to force myself to read more than 4 sentences.
[–] nobslob 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Your estimates for a slice of cheese and bacon are too high, especially the paper thin 'bacon' fast food places use. I realize you were likely embellishing a bit to make a point, but when I first started counting calories I was terrible at estimating. Now I can do it without thinking, a few months of having to look everything up will do that to you :P
slice of bacon: about 50 calories, a kraft single "cheese" slice is maybe 70 calories.
That is a huge amount of food for 1 person to eat. And the macros are all wrong, like 50% carb! It's too bad fast food places don't have any veggie options, I'd rather do broccoli & cauliflower than fries. My husband and I do the same thing on the rare occasions we eat fast food (mostly on road trips), one of us gets a meal and other just gets a burger, then we split the fries and diet coke. Usually don't finish it all either.
[–] clamhurt_legbeard ago
McDonald's has an option to swap your fries for a salad. Multiple places let you swap fries for apple slices.
[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
So 240 cal to 440 cal depending on how much bacon is standard? I'm not meticulous about counting calories. But it's good to know I'm over estimating how much I consume. Thanks for that. The more you know!
[–] Pattoe ago
It's very easy to overestimate calories because you actually need a lot of calories each day. My 126lb body needs 2,200 calories a day to maintain its weight and that's a lot! It's amazing how people can actually overeat.
I guess they're just so lazy that they'd prefer to eat than work..
[–] nobslob 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Yep. For cheese, if it's a real slice of cheese (like from a block of cheese), it's probably better to estimate about 100-120 calories per slice. The only way to be accurate is to weight it and know how many calories per oz. For those kraft single things, it's about half that.
For the bacon, it can vary a lot by the thickness and how much fat drained off when you're trying to estimate at home. But the fast food places have to send off their cooked versions for testing, so those end up being pretty accurate.
I can talk calorie counting for days :P Pain in the butt, I'm glad I'm better at estimating now, but honestly there is so much guessing and variance that being anal about it and measuring like I used too isn't much help. Basically it's hard to get more accurate than 10% without going nuts, so learning to ballpark is fine as long as you use the scale to track progress (meaning if weight goes up you are under estimating, if the scale goes down you are over estimating all other things be equal).
[–] 4407856? 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I think it depends on be on and the amount of slices and how it's cooked. The bacon i eat is 40cal for grilled, but it's quite high price and it's mostely neat with little fat. I'm not sure what if it's a cheap cut made of fat
[–] Aliantha 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Yeah I can't understand how fatties can eat that much. I had a normal sized chicken kiev, mixed veges and mashed potato for dinner washed down with maybe 600ml of water and I'm fucking stuffed.
[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I know! Two burgers, half pound of fries, and 3 pints of soda.
Totally reasonable amount of food for a person. /s