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[–] GandolfHitler 0 points 36 points (+36|-0) ago 

Encourage him to quit smoking. Exercise like mad. He might be blinded right now, but you'll be doing him a huge favor if you help remove this beast from his life.

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Trust me. This is how my mind works.

"Don't exercise while Ham is around." I took that to mean kick her out of the living room when I want to exercise and let her know, "either go to your room, the kitchen, or outside. It's time for my workout.

Cats getting fat? "Someone's been giving you people food. You know you're only allowed chicken liver and kibble. No more meat until you lose that pudge.

Edit: oh, and my wife has forbidden me from actively sabataging their relationship. Real shame to, but adults are entitled to thier own decisions. And I'll be there with a nice friendly "told ya so."

I also reminded them that "couples who quit smoking together have a higher success rate than when a person goes solo. You know, like losing weight or any other self-improvement goal.

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[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

That's some good shitlording right there. Why is BIL fucking with a ham anyway? And it's your house, so kindly tell them to fuck off, you'll do as you please. How fucking entitled can people get?

I need more stories now. This ham sounds like a loud, needy, attention whoring fatass. Those are the best to shitlord.

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[–] BlackBetty ago 

You're a beautiful man.

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[–] JohnnySkidmarx 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Time to step up your exercise regimen in front of fatty. You also need to mention how much weight you've lost.

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Working to gain actually. Been having back issues, so working on my lats and core. You look this good when you're 900 hmmmm? I just blatantly kick her out of the living room when I feel like exercising. Or just for the hell of it, under the pretense of exercising.

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[–] LochTessMunster 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Brother in law

Fiancé

Does not compute

Your spouse's brother. Am stupid.

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

It's okay, I'm sure you were just preoccupied by the P.R.egnancy Miss/ter? Monster.

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

How do you mean?

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[–] ikransfly 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Props for being able to have a fat in your home for an extended period of time. I really don't think I could do that.

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I travel for work most of the time. Only home 2 or 3 days every couple of weeks. My wife's the real trooper.

But I love my wife, and "anything for family." Mostly, I just want my office back. After getting it fumigated, of course.

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[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Hams, everything is about them. No one else is allowed to improve themselves, because feefees.

QFT

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[–] General_Paos_Chicken 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I actually cannot comprehend how people can smoke and still be fat. Nicotine is a well known appetite suppressor, so even when they are not hungry they're shoving food into their face.

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[–] Artie 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Fat people aren't hungry in general. So having their appetite suppressed doesn't mean anything.

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[–] Blackrose ago 

LOL a ham smoking.

RIP.

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[–] CherryLime ago 

"Move out"

If it's your house, then exercise all you want. Everywhere. In front of the TV ham tries to watch. In front of the refrigerator ham tries to get food out of, etc.

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