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[–] hulkingmanbeast 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

full on hyperventilation, flushing and nausea.

Throw out her ranch. Say you saw some mold.

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I've concidered flipping the breaker to the kitchen next time I leave for a late night flight. My wife and I don't refrigerate a lot. So it would only be thier "food" that rots. I'd be gone for a the next weeks or so. Not my problem.

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[–] 4099947? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Make sure you padlock the breaker box first, and "forget" where the key is.

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[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

She had a panic attack when she used the last of the ranch and realized there wasn't a back up bottle. That's not a joke, full on hyperventilation, flushing and nausea.

Uhm, what? Good bless you, you're a better person than I am. I would've laughed (and kicked) that fat bitch out of my house after that, brother in law be damned. Please tell me she atleast buys her own food and contributes to the household financially.

I don't understand why your BIL would put up with that, she sounds like a whole different level of crazy stupid hambeast. Why would he want to tie himself down to that anchor for the rest of his life? Christ, she's already a fat admitting twat and they haven't even gotten married yet. Have they been staying there long? I hope not much longer for your sake...

ETA: Your wife must be a saint.

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

He pays for her food addiction. He was ham then became human. Still has fat kid mentality,doesn't know what he's worth. Just graduated and moved here.

He did just move from the Midwest to colorado. I want to take him out and show him his options.

As for my wife being a saint. She is. But also they were homeless for awhile in thier youth and BIL took care of her + more siblings, being the eldest. Family ties are important. I'm from a similar background.

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[–] la_fupacabra 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Wait, what. Panic attack over... ranch? Not like, it got triggered by fireworks because of being in combat or being robbed or something horrible, but fucking ranch dressing?

Are you shitting me?

Look, man, if you want to take a hit out on this thing, you just send me a PM. I can travel.

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I would not shit you, @la_fupacabra. It was the idea that there wasn't any more ranch that caused it. She also has a large assortment of condements she keeps in her purse.

There is already a hit out on her. His name is Beatus. He comes cheap but he really takes his time. But hey, I'm on a budget.