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[–] whalesongmakesmyday [S] 0 points 37 points (+37|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Fucking saddest words ever put into print , “but we recognize she’s the future.”

Human-sized women of the world unite against this abomination!!!

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[–] redditHasCooties 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

Jesus... even fucking Mattel gave up fit women. That's fucking sad!

Also, I'm not feeling that great about being single right now, if that's the future, I better look for a shitlady ASAP.

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[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I do like the petite and tall barbies, though. Just not the fatass.

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[–] GandolfHitler 1 point 19 points (+20|-1) ago 

Shitlord Haiku:

New Beetus Barbie

Acclaimed for her realism

Why are our kids fat?

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[–] Doctor_Du_Nuffins 1 point 3 points (+4|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Looks more like Ken finally knocked her up.

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[–] HamAtEnormousSize 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Shoving donuts and Starbeetus down a mayo maw is not the same as getting pregnant. The new Barbeetus is eating for 3 by the looks of it.

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[–] VioletAura 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Sad part is now the more planet sized fatties are gunna whine about making ones that represent them. They will never be satisfied with this.

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[–] XenonHippogriff 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Just sell it with a sack of flesh color clay, add your own rolls.

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[–] FeefeeImpaler 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

"THIS BARBIE STILL DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A REAL WOMAN!!"

Yeah well it's a doll, so...

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[–] oldguy 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

HAES Barbie with accessories.

That ridiculous enough? Didn't bother to make 2 litre Coke bottles...

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[–] Wwanker ago 

Shit, mang, did you really do that in only an hour?

Not joking, I'm impressed by how the FUPA is realistically moddeled.

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[–] wildSHITLORDappeared 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

Retort: There's only so much shelf-space! They could fit 3 normal Barbies in the space for one HAES Barbie!

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[–] twitch1982 1 point 35 points (+36|-1) ago  (edited ago)

“Hello, I’m a fat person, fat, fat, fat,” A 6-year-old girl giving voice for the first time to curvy Barbie sings in a testing room at Mattel’s headquarters. Her playmates erupt in laughter.

Kids don't give a fuck, and don't want your fat acceptance bullshit.

Read the whole article, fat moms like it, kids think it's fat and stupid.

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[–] mtlionsroar 1 point 5 points (+6|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Yeah, they say another girl wouldn't call it fat because she didn't want to hurt it's feelings. Even she knows that fat = bad

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[–] prisonersandpriests 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Read the whole article, fat moms like it, kids think it's fat and stupid.

Fat moms are the ones with the debit card. They'll force Blubber Butt Barbie on their kids.

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[–] ShortWarrior 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Blorbie

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[–] peripatetic 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

New Barbie, now with chaffing thighs and beetus feet

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[–] lionheart 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

This is the reason why I'm a shitlord and will continue to be. It's the constant brainwashing of the kids by the fat fucks. I will not allow it to even creep it's nasty head with my kids. I teach my kids to be litle shitlords from early on.

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[–] scootycreampuff 1 point 25 points (+26|-1) ago 

OF FUCKING COURSE they give it blue tumblerina hair. Fuck me.

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[–] Achtung_Shitlord 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Just wait, it will come with septum and face piercings. Then it will have some polygender, gnderflux fat thingy wearing ill-fitting men's clothes calling itself the "boyfriend", they/them pronouns, please.

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[–] Sops 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

They could even sell kits to add tattoos of pizza and ice cream.

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