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[–] L1amas 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Ozzy Osbourne's wife was fat when they got married.

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[–] ikransfly 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

This is the oddest post I've seen a fat make. Literally. They're coming up with the most absurd, outlandish shit, and it's "pissing her off"?

I'm going to Google which celebrities eat my preferred brand of eggs. If they don't eat the one I like, it's going to start pissing me off!!!!!!

Fats literally parody themselves. Constantly.

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[–] conformity 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Non reddit/imgur-link: https://i.sli.mg/kCZoe0.png

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[–] blue5car 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago  (edited ago)

This must be the famous inner beauty they keep reminding us abou.

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[–] shitlordAnthrax 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago  (edited ago)

"People don't think I am sexy #Fatphobia". How does that even work? I don't have a girlfriend, am I allowed to say that its phobia versus me? Thinphobia? Glassesphobia? How do these people think that makes sense?

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[–] MrSaxoBeetus 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

What kind of oppreshun can you claim to suffer? Since you're a male, and I'm assuming cis straight, your only possible way out is being disabled and claiming capacitism. I'm sorry, but, in the Olympics of Oppreshun, you're bound to score very few points.

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[–] Umrtvovacz 1 point 5 points (+6|-1) ago 

He can alway claim he is transgender and homosexual. So he is still into women like now, but he scores way higher on the oppression meter. You can always conjure an ancestor who is an asian/arab/jew/native american or even black, insert them down into your family tree so nobody can trace them anymore, and voilĂ , more oppression points!

You can then say you are an otherkin with headmates and go really deep into that rabbit hole, but that's just farming more points that you don't need. Just being transgender or non-hetero gives you enough points to overcome your whiteness.

God I hate the "Progressive Stack" logic, and I am fucking gay!

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[–] Melbourne43 1 point 19 points (+20|-1) ago 

Hugh Jackman's wife Pierce Brosnan's wife

My theory is that these women are beards.

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[–] Seeker74 ago 

Brosnan's wife was a real hottie when he got her. She ate herself into the condition we see today.

Jackman. . . I just can't explain that one.

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[–] Sprintal ago 

My theory was that they just got old, and the women just gave up and the men couldn't be bothered to fix it, being the end of their lives and what not, but Hugh Jackman's just 47.

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[–] ShortWarrior ago  (edited ago)

Brosnan is currently in the process of turning into a werewolf.

[–] [deleted] ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] chodie 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Yeah, I always just assumed Hugh was gay, am surprised to hear he has a wife.

5 replies

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[–] mystic_chihuahua 0 points 52 points (+52|-0) ago 

Well, tumblrina, that's what you get when you're rich, handsome and famous. If a man ticks all the boxes he's at a level where he can pull a chick who also ticks all the boxes. Why the fuck would the Justin Timberlakes or Chris Hemsworths of the world choose a hambeast when he can get a hottie. It doesn't matter what other positive traits you have, there will always be someone who is everything you are plus hot as fuck.

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[–] advicedog 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Came here to make sure this was said - well put. I know from experience that there are genuinely awesome people who are also incredibly physically attractive. I sleep next to one at night.

Fatties give us a false choice: Super hot and fit OR good/nice/cool person

You can have both.

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[–] the_devils_lettuce 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

^This all the way. Somewhere out there is a hot lady who also has a "great personality", in fact a ham is very unlikely to have what they like to call a "great personality." (Who is a reliable judge of their own personality anyway?). I hate fat people and if there were no women but fat women, I'd become a monk.

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[–] MrSaxoBeetus 0 points 31 points (+31|-0) ago  (edited ago)

To be fair, I don't recall ever meeting a fattie that I'd date even if they managed to lose weight. They always seem to have some underlying issues that vastly outweighteehee their fatness.

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[–] Grave_Mercy 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

This might be sexist of me to say this (especially as a woman) but I feel like this is vastly more true to women. Women have so many ungodly pressures to be beautiful and perfect in every aspect (body, hair, makeup, clothing, shoes, purses, the "beauticians" at sephora keep telling me to try drawing on my eyebrows for crying out loud), the kind of woman that lets herself go has to be functionally retarded. But men? Men can be fat and still be successful and taken seriously, have good jobs, and given that statistically and historically men are more likely to let themselves go with age (beer bellies mostly), it's almost acceptable (gag).

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[–] tucket1 0 points 110 points (+110|-0) ago 

  • I would date you if you lost weight. - WOW JUST WOW you're such a fatphobic bigot! Oppreshun!
  • I will date you, but I'm a bit fat myself. - WOW these gross guys think they have a better chance with someone like me, keep walking lardass!
  • I will date you because I specifically like fat women - Get out of my blog you fetishist perv! My body is not a sexual object! Rape culture!
  • ...Gee, I wonder why no one wants to date me, men are dogs who are only after the unattainable beauty standards and can't handle real wimmyns.

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[–] ShitArchon ago 

See also: /r/ChoosingBeggars

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[–] FATCAMP 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

on fleek. Keep it lit! okay, im out of generic twitter sayings

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[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Spot on.

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[–] AichSmize 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Nailed it.