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[–] Thinnerprivilege 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Well I suppose if he jumped on an IED that his corpulence would soak up the shrapnel better than a thin person.

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[–] DessertFox 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

At first I thought you were talking about the guy in front, and I was about to say he may be a bit too heavy but most of that is probably gear.

Then II realized the object in the background wasn't a wrecking ball.

How can a creature be so perfectly spherical?

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[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Had to go back and check after your comment cause I too thought it was the guy in the front.

Holy damn.

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[–] Blacklightning 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Noo Yawk Police Depahtment at its finest. It's a race to the death. Who is more likely to blow himself up into smithereens, Ahmed the suicide bomber or this fatass gas giant?

But seriously, fuck terrorists and fuck ISIS.

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[–] lungsnotguns 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

He doesn't need body armour. His many layers of adipose tissue will stop dead anything short of 7.62 AP ammunition.

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[–] ShitlordWithCheese 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

My cousin is ex-military, but has since turned into a giant planet. He's constantly posting shit on Facebook about how when the muslims attack this country, we are going to need men like him to save us. Obviously, that will never happen, but fat fucks don't even realize how worthless they would actually be if it did.

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[–] gloob_ 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

when the muslims attack this country

He's going to be waiting a long time.

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[–] Banterbury 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

You don't count people like the Boston bombers? Were they not Muslim refugees?

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[–] tugboats_nd_arson 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Alongside Linda Clarke right?

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[–] Leelem0n 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

They'll lure him in with pies. They won't even need to set a trap, he'll just stay and eat the pies, totally ignoring his duties.

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[–] rshackleford252525 ago 

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[–] YoungerX 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

He could block quite a lot of an explosion.

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[–] sinjinsmythe 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Operation Human-Ham Shield

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[–] shmuklidooha 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Bacon flying everywhere.

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