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[–] septopus 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

Someone else downvoted you. I am giving you an upvote to counter that in order that this does not get buried.

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[–] septopus 4 points -3 points (+1|-4) ago 

Not talking about open relationships. I am talking about cheating. If you are so tied up on monogamy that you throw away everything else going good you are fucken retarded and should get hit by a bus. If you think that makes a person a piece of shit your metrics are fucked up. I'm an idiot because I see it more clearly than you? Cheating being a deal breaker in otherwise awesome relationships? It's the sign of immature dumb fucks and those who fail at cost benefit analysis and those who dont really understand love in the least.

Great dad, great husband, all that shit... toss all that away because someone cheated? I've seen that shit so many time. Know what ends up happening? Everyone gets fucked. Brings out the worse shit in people. They then ruin the kids with fighting. Over what? Banging someone else? Tactically bad moves to throw away relationships because of shit like that.

People who think you way are mindless fucks. By all means tell us why this line item trumps all others. Because your heart is broken? Explain to us why the fuck your heart is broken? Because you have to own someone? And you stop loving someone because they cheat on you? What a fucken shallow piece of shit someone has to be to have their love based on some dumb shit like that.

Love is the concern with the welfare of another. If you are willing to dump someone over shit like that you never loved them imo.

Like I said, the immature, childish, and retarded place that much importance on sex.

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[–] ValkyrieHerja 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I think you're missing the point that cheating isn't about sex, it's about being dishonest.

If a person doesn't want to be monogamous, that's their choice. And as adults we have the right to make that decision. But when you cheat on someone you are taking away at least one other person's choice regarding monogamy. I've had married men try to date me and lie about being single, and obviously they are lying to their wives. That is wrong.

Choosing not to be monogamous in and of itself isn't wrong, but being honest about it is the tipping point. If someone chooses to lie about their sexual needs and deceive their partner(s) that does not make them a good person. You might blast someone for throwing away a man who is a good father, good husband, etc if they cheat...but how good are they if they can lie?

I've personally told off attached men for searching outside their relationship while deceiving their partner. If she is so perfect, why do you lie and look elsewhere for sexual gratification? It's the lying that makes you a shitty person, not the sex.

P.S. My personal beliefs are that not everyone is suited for monogamy and that's OK, I've personally been in non-monogamous relationships. But deception on that scale is absolutely a deal breaker, no matter what it's about.

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[–] septopus 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

I am not missing that point. My reasoning maintains without the honesty line itemt. People are sometimes dishonest to eachother. Would you end a relationship because someone was dishonest about eating the last cookie? Define the traits of a lie that becomes important enough to throw a relationship away for. To me a lie would need to involve a trespass of consequence that actively worked against me, my goals, my health, or those of my loved ones, or a higher ethical line item. I would dump someone who lied to me about a murder they committed, but I might dump them for the murder.

How good is a person if they lie about something like this? How does one measure that? Well I measure things in terms of how they add value to things. Does the person make people happy? Does they aid in their ascension? Does they come to their aid when needed? Will they fight and die by your side? Those are the traits I value and look for in friends and lovers. If they lie or are deceitful about a sexual relationship with another that does not detract from those other traits. It's a minor shmere on the armor.

I used the word father, but I have seen some awesome mothers who outside of infidelity were loyal partners in all other affairs. How everyione dealt with the infidelity turned them into really shitty people.

There are articles one can search for for the answer to 'why if she is perfect do you want to cheat'.

The reality is that cheating is pretty much the norm in the west. 70%+ in a 1991 study report cheating.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX3Hu8loXTE - is a 'crash course' primer. Humans lie to each other, a lot.

[–] [deleted] 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] septopus 3 points -2 points (+1|-3) ago 

Yeah, the moron cant defend his position so he calls me a scumbag.

You are garbage if you can throw away someone you love over this line item. I value people I am involved with beyond such trite and pretty things.

I'm doubting you even have a working definition of the word love.