[–] ShitlordsMakeMeWet 1 point 3 points 4 points (+4|-1) ago
This may happen because real-life shitlording is often kind of subtle and not very interesting to retell. For example, I recently lost over 40 lbs and have regained human status (was a blob, now am fit and a shitlady for life). My recent shitlording consists of people asking me how I lost the weight, and my response. If a ham asks, I say "I ate fewer calories than I burned." If a normal person asks, I give a kinder and more detailed answer.
Better answer: "I thought about what you probably do to be in the shape you're in...and then I did the exact opposite."
[–] Swoledamort 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
My goto response to "how do you do it??" Is always the same. Discipline and personal responsibility. Fats HATE that.
[–] ForgotMyName ago
Do you carry salt packets in your pocket to shove in there after you've torn them a new one? Because that's delightful.
[–] Vermality 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I can see what you mean. You can tell the true ones from the ones that didnt happen. The ones that dont seem real usually have some kind of monologue-esque shitlording that never happen.
For instance I "shit lorded" the other day at the bakery. Some fat cunt pushed in front of everyone and got served. I then pushed in and was also served but I said "No he was here before me" pointing to this other dude there, then turned towards fatty and said "I wait my fucking turn" loudly. Now I dont know if she heard me because she had started walking away but that was my shit lord moment.
A BS version would be her pushing in and me going "hey wait your fucking turn fatty!". Thats what I wanted to say but you cant do that otherwise you look like the bad guy
[–] SatansFavoriteFukToy 6 points -2 points 4 points (+4|-6) ago
Hahaha keep squealing piggy.
[–] newguynewguynewguy 3 points 0 points 3 points (+3|-3) ago
Found the fatty.
[–] SaintanthonysFire [S] 2 points 5 points 7 points (+7|-2) ago
I'll let the thread fill up a bit more with "found the fatty!" Posts. Then I'll post my proof. You wish you had my abs bitch.
[–] inablackbox 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
This, basically. There's always going to be some embellishment in people's stories, but I still find them entertaining. I think we can all agree that a happy shitlordy ending is a lot easier to read than one where the ham gets off scot-free.
[–] seniorscubasquid ago
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of falsehood... Only a fool would take them as fact.