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[–] pornhub_katie 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

have you considered painting it green so it looks like you're banging princess fionna from shrek?

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[–] 3100215? [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

That's a waste of money, I just bought it in green.

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[–] pornhub_katie 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

what're you jewish? no wonder you can't get real green pussy.

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[–] greycloud 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

does it work as well as you hoped?

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[–] 3100701? [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Like I said, no herpes. Not even a rash.

I've sent a letter to the company.

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[–] greycloud 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

well sorry for any previous bad experiences you had with the real thing.

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[–] 3101959? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Have you ever tried basted eggs?

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[–] 3103062? [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

No, what are they?

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[–] 3103347? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Almost like a sunny side up egg but better

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] 3103072? [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Not much, ever since I got the hidden cameras removed.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] 3103152? [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I was, but then I broke off and started a cult. We worship a star that has never been used in any constellations.

We also burn cats.

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[–] AmaleksGirlfriend 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Did you write my name on the side?

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[–] 3104331? [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Yes, but I know a lot of people named Eva. It was specifically the person who drives the bus to Dallas every day at 5:30.