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[–] Gimme_Shelter 0 points 39 points (+39|-0) ago 

This is the stupidest post by a pork chop I've read. Do they really think it's believable?

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[–] redditHasCooties 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago  (edited ago)

And even if it was, wouldn't someone who relies on tips telling you "for the love of god, eat an apple every now and then instead of deep fried shit all the time" come across as a message that it's time to be less of a fatass?

I mean, yeah, the waitress would still be kind of a bitch, but I've never been told "Sir, really, you shouldn't have the side salad, I'm bringing you a twinkie." You'd have to be a whale on the verge of exploding for someone to react that way. Especially someone that wants your tips.

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[–] Gimme_Shelter ago 

Agree.

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[–] diodine 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Well I mean, anythings believable when you believe you are a victim of UHHPRESSHUN!!

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[–] Gimme_Shelter ago 

True.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Gimme_Shelter ago 

Agree.

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[–] Ser_Alliser_Thorne 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Nah. It's a fabrication. On the "other" site, there'd be nearly identical stories told by hammies. Usually the variation is "salad" instead of "fruit" but it's all the same damn attention whoring story.

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[–] Gimme_Shelter ago 

Thanks. It sounded so fake.

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[–] Nofatpeople 0 points 38 points (+38|-0) ago 

Obviously a lie. Who serves cucumber with fruit?

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[–] inablackbox 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

For that matter, what kind of dish has both fries and fruit as available sides?

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[–] MeeblesMerble 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

A restaurant near where I live gives the option of fruit or fries with their sandwiches. It's not a fancy place at all but the food is good and the fruit sides are fresh and delicious.

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[–] Nofatpeople 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Breakfast can come with home fries or fruit.

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[–] LetsBeNakedOutside 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I think places like Denny's and Perkins. You know it has to be somewhere that has 90% fried food, so they can say they have "healthy options" to appear like they care.

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[–] LordLord_IAmShitLord 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

What's with hams' fascination with "fruit" anyways.

Fruit is loaded with sugar. An apple has 100 calories (compare to 8 calories in a cucumber).

[–] [deleted] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

If this maggotfuck ham gags at the smell of melons, I have no solution to offer except to execute it for being a subhuman maggot.

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[–] CyclopticTentacleCat ago 

I would take that option.

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I ragequit at

"The smell and taste of melon literally makes me gag..."

DEATH to FUCKING HAMS!

Seriously. It's time to build ridiculously re-inforced steel scaffolds in the public square, weave some kevlar-carbon fiber ropes, and to hang these fucking subhuman beasts!

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[–] Holden_Magroine 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Just poison the mountain dew supply.

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[–] antiplebbitor ago 

I had this idea already, but another supposed fitlord suggested that I not do so.

But I can hardly think of a more expedient final solution to the Ham Question...

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[–] interflop 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Seriously, I get not liking certain fruits, but literally gagging at the sight of melon? I thought they were supposed to be adults, not picky 5 year-olds.

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[–] BuckinHipster ago 

Yeah that's actually stupid. I hate seafood but a lot of people I know really love it and give me shit for it but I still try it every now and then, especially new types of seafood or things like calamari.

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[–] Lorgres 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I can understand if you don't like melon with prosciutto but no melon at all? Let's execute them the dwarven way... chopping of their heads with an axe just with a hammer instead of the axe and smashing instead of chopping off.... you get the idear

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I do utilize emphasis a lot. I thought that's what bolding/italicizing is about?

I also utilize all-caps for "death to hams" because I think it best conveys my sincerity.

Beyond sick of these subhuman pieces of filth littering this world. So beyond sick of them, fit-bro...

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[–] Hannabis 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

/v/FatHappened

Why do they make up such ridiculous stories?
"I wanted to gorge myself on greasy fries but all the shit waitress would bring me is healthy fruit. FML"

And of course it can't stand the taste and smell of real food, that oxygen thief can probably only tolerate food with MSG, Sodium Benzoate & Yellow no. 5.

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[–] dotty 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Yeah because a waitress would purposely bring you what you didn't ask for.

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[–] skittlesforhair 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

You want to know why they think that could happen? Because they do that shit. They'll add sugar instead of an artificial sweetener or they'll give regular instead of diet or whole milk instead of almond milk

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[–] dotty 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Whole milk instead of almond milk....which could result in an allergic reaction. Not that they care.

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[–] eat_a_dick_por_favor 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

The fact that she can't tell cucumber from honeydew should tell you everything you need to know about her condishun.

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[–] NikoMyshkin 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

fruit makes it gag? at what point do we declare obesity a mental illness, round up all the affected and force them to exercise/eat properly for their own good?

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You're so close to my solution. Except why bother to waste time and money trying to force these fat fucks to exercise? Execute them, render their lard into biodiesel, and use their cremated ashes as plant fertilizer.

Easier, cheaper, and would actually provide some benefit to the world...

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[–] NikoMyshkin 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

eh, maybe i'm a saint.

that reminds me - i need to buy some soap :-)

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[–] badp4nd4 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

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