[–] Nofatpeople 0 points 38 points 38 points (+38|-0) ago
Obviously a lie. Who serves cucumber with fruit?
[–] [deleted] 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
If this maggotfuck ham gags at the smell of melons, I have no solution to offer except to execute it for being a subhuman maggot.
[–] inablackbox 0 points 23 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago
For that matter, what kind of dish has both fries and fruit as available sides?
[–] MeeblesMerble 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
A restaurant near where I live gives the option of fruit or fries with their sandwiches. It's not a fancy place at all but the food is good and the fruit sides are fresh and delicious.
[–] Nofatpeople 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Breakfast can come with home fries or fruit.
[–] LetsBeNakedOutside 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
I think places like Denny's and Perkins. You know it has to be somewhere that has 90% fried food, so they can say they have "healthy options" to appear like they care.
[–] LordLord_IAmShitLord 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
What's with hams' fascination with "fruit" anyways.
Fruit is loaded with sugar. An apple has 100 calories (compare to 8 calories in a cucumber).
[–] CaptainKoncho 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Its face make people gag. Hideous pile of fat and shit.
[–] Privilegechecked85 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
One of my biggest nightmares in life is having one of my daughters grow up and look like that.
[–] skittlesforhair 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
You want to know why they think that could happen? Because they do that shit. They'll add sugar instead of an artificial sweetener or they'll give regular instead of diet or whole milk instead of almond milk
[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 18 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago (edited ago)
I ragequit at
"The smell and taste of melon literally makes me gag..."
DEATH to FUCKING HAMS!
Seriously. It's time to build ridiculously re-inforced steel scaffolds in the public square, weave some kevlar-carbon fiber ropes, and to hang these fucking subhuman beasts!
[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
I do utilize emphasis a lot. I thought that's what bolding/italicizing is about?
I also utilize all-caps for "death to hams" because I think it best conveys my sincerity.
Beyond sick of these subhuman pieces of filth littering this world. So beyond sick of them, fit-bro...
[–] Holden_Magroine 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Just poison the mountain dew supply.
[–] antiplebbitor ago
I had this idea already, but another supposed fitlord suggested that I not do so.
But I can hardly think of a more expedient final solution to the Ham Question...
[–] BuckinHipster ago
Yeah that's actually stupid. I hate seafood but a lot of people I know really love it and give me shit for it but I still try it every now and then, especially new types of seafood or things like calamari.
[–] Hannabis 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
Why do they make up such ridiculous stories?
"I wanted to gorge myself on greasy fries but all the shit waitress would bring me is healthy fruit. FML"
And of course it can't stand the taste and smell of real food, that oxygen thief can probably only tolerate food with MSG, Sodium Benzoate & Yellow no. 5.
[–] NikoMyshkin 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
fruit makes it gag? at what point do we declare obesity a mental illness, round up all the affected and force them to exercise/eat properly for their own good?
[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
You're so close to my solution. Except why bother to waste time and money trying to force these fat fucks to exercise? Execute them, render their lard into biodiesel, and use their cremated ashes as plant fertilizer.
Easier, cheaper, and would actually provide some benefit to the world...
[–] NikoMyshkin 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
eh, maybe i'm a saint.
that reminds me - i need to buy some soap :-)
[–] Gimme_Shelter 0 points 39 points 39 points (+39|-0) ago
This is the stupidest post by a pork chop I've read. Do they really think it's believable?
[–] redditHasCooties 0 points 15 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago (edited ago)
And even if it was, wouldn't someone who relies on tips telling you "for the love of god, eat an apple every now and then instead of deep fried shit all the time" come across as a message that it's time to be less of a fatass?
I mean, yeah, the waitress would still be kind of a bitch, but I've never been told "Sir, really, you shouldn't have the side salad, I'm bringing you a twinkie." You'd have to be a whale on the verge of exploding for someone to react that way. Especially someone that wants your tips.
[–] Gimme_Shelter ago
Agree.
[–] diodine 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Well I mean, anythings believable when you believe you are a victim of UHHPRESSHUN!!
[–] Gimme_Shelter ago
True.
[–] Ser_Alliser_Thorne 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Nah. It's a fabrication. On the "other" site, there'd be nearly identical stories told by hammies. Usually the variation is "salad" instead of "fruit" but it's all the same damn attention whoring story.
[–] Gimme_Shelter ago
Thanks. It sounded so fake.
[–] christy 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
The only way I can imagine this possibly being true is if she was out for breakfast at a place that doesn't serve fries in the morning. She's either lying or retarded... or both!
[–] Gimme_Shelter ago
Definitely both.