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[–] Hannabis 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

/v/FatHappened

Why do they make up such ridiculous stories?
"I wanted to gorge myself on greasy fries but all the shit waitress would bring me is healthy fruit. FML"

And of course it can't stand the taste and smell of real food, that oxygen thief can probably only tolerate food with MSG, Sodium Benzoate & Yellow no. 5.

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I ragequit at

"The smell and taste of melon literally makes me gag..."

DEATH to FUCKING HAMS!

Seriously. It's time to build ridiculously re-inforced steel scaffolds in the public square, weave some kevlar-carbon fiber ropes, and to hang these fucking subhuman beasts!

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[–] jlaray 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Well, I hate all kinds of melon, too...but I wouldn't exact call them gagworthy. That's something a child would do.

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[–] interflop 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Seriously, I get not liking certain fruits, but literally gagging at the sight of melon? I thought they were supposed to be adults, not picky 5 year-olds.

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[–] BuckinHipster ago 

Yeah that's actually stupid. I hate seafood but a lot of people I know really love it and give me shit for it but I still try it every now and then, especially new types of seafood or things like calamari.

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[–] Lorgres 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I can understand if you don't like melon with prosciutto but no melon at all? Let's execute them the dwarven way... chopping of their heads with an axe just with a hammer instead of the axe and smashing instead of chopping off.... you get the idear

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[–] Holden_Magroine 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Just poison the mountain dew supply.

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[–] antiplebbitor ago 

I had this idea already, but another supposed fitlord suggested that I not do so.

But I can hardly think of a more expedient final solution to the Ham Question...

1 reply

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[–] dotty 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Yeah because a waitress would purposely bring you what you didn't ask for.

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[–] skittlesforhair 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

You want to know why they think that could happen? Because they do that shit. They'll add sugar instead of an artificial sweetener or they'll give regular instead of diet or whole milk instead of almond milk

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[–] dotty 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Whole milk instead of almond milk....which could result in an allergic reaction. Not that they care.

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[–] Privilegechecked85 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

One of my biggest nightmares in life is having one of my daughters grow up and look like that.

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[–] CaptainKoncho 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Its face make people gag. Hideous pile of fat and shit.

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[–] Nofatpeople 0 points 38 points (+38|-0) ago 

Obviously a lie. Who serves cucumber with fruit?

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[–] CyclopticTentacleCat ago 

I would take that option.

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[–] inablackbox 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

For that matter, what kind of dish has both fries and fruit as available sides?

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[–] interstate-15 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Pretty much every casual restaurant has an ability to sub for fruit. I usually sub my hash browns for fruit and my toast for beans for my breakfast.

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[–] Fireark 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I believe Jason's Deli has the choice of fruit or chips as a side.

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[–] Dark_Shroud 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Several family chain restaurants have this as an option if you ask for it.

Denny's and IHOP do it. There my be a slight extra charge depending on the meal and what you're asking for.

I'm at the point where I tell them to pass on the sides if fruit isn't an option.

This amused me recently on a road trip. Stopping at Cracker Barrels and telling them I don't want biscuits or corn bread with the food. I guess that doesn't happen often with their usual clientele.

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[–] smelly_farts 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Lots of places have dinners 'plus 1-2 sides' and they can run the gammut from fries / onion rings / side salad / fruit, etc, etc. She probably did see the fruit on the sides menu and it triggered her enough to write this post.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

If this maggotfuck ham gags at the smell of melons, I have no solution to offer except to execute it for being a subhuman maggot.

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[–] Gimme_Shelter 0 points 39 points (+39|-0) ago 

This is the stupidest post by a pork chop I've read. Do they really think it's believable?

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[–] Fragnostus ago 

It was probably her dad who asked her to eat fruit or something.

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[–] Gimme_Shelter ago 

Probably.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Gimme_Shelter ago 

Agree.

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[–] christy 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

The only way I can imagine this possibly being true is if she was out for breakfast at a place that doesn't serve fries in the morning. She's either lying or retarded... or both!

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[–] Gimme_Shelter ago 

Definitely both.

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[–] Ser_Alliser_Thorne 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Nah. It's a fabrication. On the "other" site, there'd be nearly identical stories told by hammies. Usually the variation is "salad" instead of "fruit" but it's all the same damn attention whoring story.

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[–] Gimme_Shelter ago 

Thanks. It sounded so fake.

2 replies