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[–] friendguy13 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago 

The STEEL AND CONCRETE stairwell shifts, groans, bangs, and struggles against her enormous weight stampeding up and down its frame.

Jesus...

Also is she still stealing food?

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[–] Syphrosyne [S] 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

Yeah. Slenderella had some leftovers (almost an entire pizza that she hoped would last her a few days) go missing in one night, even though she wrote her name on it. My cupcakes that I made for my ceramics class also were short a couple of items after I left them in the fridge overnight.

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[–] pizzajesus 0 points 36 points (+36|-0) ago 

Sounds like you need to make a batch of ghost pepper, habenero chicken wings soon...

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[–] HamathaMcBeetusButt 1 point 7 points (+8|-1) ago 

Pro-tip store your cupcakes with me, I totes promise to guard them ;)

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[–] trap_queen 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Fatties are always stealing food!! It's in their greedy nature!

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[–] newguynewguynewguy 0 points 22 points (+22|-0) ago 

EX-LAX COOKIES! EX-LAX COOKIES!

Trust me, they work.

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[–] TruncalAdiposity 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

The true meaning of a shitlord.

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[–] smelly_farts 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Stairwell? She hasn't filed for disability to move to somewhere she doesn't have to go up stairs yet?

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[–] alc0 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I have noticed that hams seem to have a problem with constantly slamming door. sup with that?

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[–] burntfishnchips 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

It's so true. They don't know how to hold the doorknob either to keep the lock from clicking shut loudly at 2am. I hate hammates.

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[–] Angxrs 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I do love your Hammate stories! I guess it's nice to know that for every ham infiltrated house/dormroom/flat there are other shitlords and ladies suffering along side each other.

I've also gotten lots of great ideas for Hammate survival from the comments of your stories, pepper bombing food, locked cupboards, mini-fridge with locked door for my room etc for the next time I fly the nest.

If only I had known about FPH while living with ''K'' (A story I posted to ToFH, quite long).

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[–] pH_ 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Keep this on hand.

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[–] burntfishnchips 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I've noticed obese pigs tend to be louder than normal sized humans and don't understand. I used to have a hammate and he would slam doors, talk very loudly while playing xbox after midnight and just not know how his voice and size are louder than most people. Is there any way you can file a complain on your room mate?

I'm assuming you're in college since you said dorm. That really sucks. I hate people who listen to music without headphones. It's become an epidemic here where i can't ride the metro or bus without some fattie on their phone playing a mobile game or listening to music without headsets.

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[–] Syphrosyne [S] ago 

I can try to file a complaint but I doubt much will happen. She can't really be reprimanded for noise complaints, even if it's very late at night or very early in the morning.

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[–] nonhaman 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

What about theft - get a little spy camera on your fridge! At the very least you could confront them and their lies.

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[–] ajswdf 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

From the pictures you posted before, a lot of people would say she isn't even that fat, or not fat at all! The lack of standards is really sad.

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[–] heyfattybomsticks 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I believe that being fat leads to profound neurological changes. Fats aren't just gluttons, they're also typically lazy, self-absorbed, liars, selfish, jealous, bitter, aggressive and vindictive. Be interesting to see if there's any solid research into brain patterns and obesity.

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