0
11

[–] pH_ 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I basically have a spicy pepper fetish.

This is all you need. It's $20 for 2oz of Carolina Reaper Puree. The Carolina Reaper is the current hottest pepper in the world at a wonderful 1.5-2 million scoviles.

I can handle habaneros without breaking a sweat, but ghost pepper burns like a motherfucker and Carolina Reaper is just straight up scary.

For scale, police pepper spray ranges from 500,000-5 million Scoville. Carolina Reaper is essentially mid-strength pepper spray concentrate.

Near-guaranteed results if you spike food with this:

  • Screaming and crying. Not "owww hot hot hot" but literal screaming and crying.

  • Vomiting. Very high chance that someone who hasn't built up a tolerance for spicy things will barf it back up. This has the bonus of spreading capsaicin (the spicy burny part of hot peppers) into their nasal cavity and across their lips. It will burn, with no chance for relief, for 5-30 minutes.

  • Diarrhea. It is just as hot on the way out, so later that day they'll have a flaming asshole.

  • If they get any of it on their hands and touch any sensitive skin - genitals, face, eyes - it will be almost exactly like getting pepper sprayed.

All of these effects except vomiting I have personally experienced and I have witnessed the vomiting. It's the reaper for a reason, would recommend 10/10

0
3

[–] 2541604? 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Don't fear the reaper OP

0
1

[–] Duke_of_Dung 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I like the way you think!

[–] [deleted] ago 

[Deleted]

0
1

[–] pH_ 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Because pepper spray is mixed with propylene glycol and under pressure in a can, and there's a high chance of pepper spraying yourself + I don't even know if you could cook with it. Plus, if she sues, it's much more defensible to say you like hot peppers than it is to say you need pepper spray to feel the burn.

0
9

[–] FatJavalina 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Unless you want to risk the thing trying to take you to court (because I don't give a shit about its health, just you), be careful about how many you use. Too much could very, very quickly land it in the hospital and cause it to come after you.

0
10

[–] FUPA_Berzerker 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

If it's her cakes/... with her name on it then there is no way she could get in trouble no? Hams are not yet recognized as mentally disabled people who can't be held responsible for eating whatever food they see in front of them!

0
9

[–] Elcycs 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Just to make sure, include a "Do not eat!" warning on them. I'd love to hear hammie try to justify that. "I stole the clearly labeled 'do not eat' food and ate it! Waaa!"

0
7

[–] FatJavalina 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

That's actually a good point. OP could argue having some digestive issues, and it's easier to take them with food. Not only that, but laxes tend to be easier on the stomach with food because then there's actually something to flush out (though that may be a more disordered way of looking at it since people don't (I don't think) generally take them unless they're blocked up to begin with).

Simple solution, my shitfriend! I fully support this idea then. If fatty ends up in the hospital, it's its own damn fault.

0
3

[–] skinny4life 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Also, do you really want some hambeast shitting for hours on when you have the misfortunate of occupying the same apartment as it?

0
5

[–] FatJavalina 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Dear god...how did I not even consider that? *vomits

Edit: word

0
2

[–] Damndirtyape 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

This could get you in trouble. Weed brownies might be funny, and you can't OD on those. Only get really fucking paranoid.

0
2

[–] 2538351? 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I once brought a batch of brownies to a party. I cut them into small pieces and clearly labeled them as strong. They were too strong and they literally broke the party.

0
1

[–] Tozetre 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Make sure to clearly label them with "I put laxatives in these because I heard it helps with weight loss, DO NOT EAT these are MY special laxative chocolate cupcakes for MY weight loss."

The hammy will either ignore the note or think "tee hee! I can lose lots of weight if I eat all these cupcakes! tee hee!"

Vengeance and protection.

0
1

[–] ilikelaughingatthem 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

This. Or, 'These chilli cupcakes are an experiment. DO NOT EAT, these are MY special chilli cupcakes, please DO NOT EAT'.