[–] crazyjuan 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
The closest time I got to dying is when I was mugged at midnight in London. This was around the time when most muggings involved knives, and no one else was around to help me out if I got stabbed.
Second place is a time I'd rather not talk about, and third place comes from my botched surgery from my appendicitis that left me with a blot clot that prevented me from walking for several weeks.
[–] Namelesshero102 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
In 2006 I was in the passenger seat of my dad's suburban and we got the green light to pull through a four way intersection. We got half way through and a semi truck came blowing through at 60 mph and ran right into us at the front passenger tire. It then drug us a 1/4 mile down the road.
[–] Wowbagger 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
I was crossing a 4 lane street with the pedestrian light and some college kid ran a red light going around 60. He was so far away when I'd looked to the right that I foolishly didn't look again when I got to the middle. I was on the far side of the 3rd lane when I heard the brakes screeching. I looked up just in time to see him fish tailing. He actually drifted around me to my left and I was staring in at four terrified kids staring back at me. His tires found traction again just as he passed me and off they went without bothering to stop and make sure I was okay. Fuck that guy. To this day I hope he feels pretty awful and drives more conscientiously.
Other close calls: Deathly allergic to mango. Tried a tea listed as having blood orange.
Deathly allergic to cashews. Ten years ago, Entenmann's added cashews to their crumb cake without advertising that they'd changed the ingredients. Wrote them a complaint. They sent me a generic letter "thank you for your interest in our product". Included in the envelope were two coupons for $1 off crumb cake.
Hit by a driver who didn't look for pedestrians while making a protected left. I did have the pedestrian light and I did look but she'd zoomed up to beat the yellow. That was one year ago yesterday, actually. I was crossing to my favorite gyro place at the time so I celebrated yesterday by having gyros for dinner.
[–] Reow [S] 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
There have actually been a number of times - maybe more where I didn't realize just how close I was. When I was a small child (maybe 6), I was fishing with my relatives; I slipped and fell into a fast-flowing river. It was just luck that my aunt saw it happen and had the reflexes to grabbed my arm as I was swept past her.
Another time when I was young (around 10) and swimming in the ocean, I got caught in a rip and taken out to sea. I have no idea how far it took me, but I could barely make out people on the beach, and nobody saw it happen. I eventually managed to swim back in, despite being taken under by waves a couple of times.
Another time when I was driving interstate, I momentarily fell asleep at the wheel, and woke up a few seconds away from a head-on collision with a semi-trailer truck. I managed to swerve back onto my side of the road just in time.
A while back when I was in Egypt, I was playing with a cobra that I thought had been milked - it hadn't. It spat venom at my eyes, and I was just lucky to be wearing glasses at the time. Nobody had antivenin nearby. Not sure if it would have killed me, but glad I didn't find out.
More recently when I was in Petra, I was free climbing to one of the less accessible tombs. On my way down, I slipped and only just managed to catch myself. It would have been about an 8 metre fall - not sure if it would have killed me, but again, glad I didn't find out.
[–] pH_ 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
8 meter fall, depending on how you land, will (if you land on your feet and absorb the impact by bending your legs, and roll forward to dissipate momentum) hurt like a bitch and crack or break something, or (if you land on your head/upper back) really hurt and then kill/paralyze you.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 22 points 22 points (+22|-0) ago (edited ago)
[–] Bioreactor 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Holy shit, that is a lot of things to go wrong in one life
[–] Wafflenotblue 0 points 15 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago (edited ago)
Angel: What should /u/Icantthinkofanewname's life plan be?
God: Just fuck him up
[–] TremorAcePV 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
You dropped this:
God: He will be a testament to My Glory.
[–] Sadistic_Bastard 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
I chewed on a lightbulb when I was really young (A small one, like you'd find in a flashlight). No major damage, though. But if I had swallowed it I could have been in major trouble.
[–] [deleted] 1 point 1 point 2 points (+2|-1) ago (edited ago)
[–] pH_ ago
You can join my religion. I worship the complimentary gods of heartless, uncaring Nature and bipolar Chance. They like you.
[–] Reow [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I'm similar to this myself - I don't believe in a god, per se, and I'm not superstitious, but I feel like with the number of times I've survived death I must have a guardian angel or destiny or something.