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[–] Prepackaged 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Every time I find myself behind a driver from New Jersey.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

[–] [deleted] ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] pH_ ago 

Physical death vs brain death, people can die but not be medically dead (brain + physical death iirc)

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[–] Namelesshero102 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

In 2006 I was in the passenger seat of my dad's suburban and we got the green light to pull through a four way intersection. We got half way through and a semi truck came blowing through at 60 mph and ran right into us at the front passenger tire. It then drug us a 1/4 mile down the road.

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[–] Sadistic_Bastard 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

I chewed on a lightbulb when I was really young (A small one, like you'd find in a flashlight). No major damage, though. But if I had swallowed it I could have been in major trouble.

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[–] Reow [S] 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

There have actually been a number of times - maybe more where I didn't realize just how close I was. When I was a small child (maybe 6), I was fishing with my relatives; I slipped and fell into a fast-flowing river. It was just luck that my aunt saw it happen and had the reflexes to grabbed my arm as I was swept past her.

Another time when I was young (around 10) and swimming in the ocean, I got caught in a rip and taken out to sea. I have no idea how far it took me, but I could barely make out people on the beach, and nobody saw it happen. I eventually managed to swim back in, despite being taken under by waves a couple of times.

Another time when I was driving interstate, I momentarily fell asleep at the wheel, and woke up a few seconds away from a head-on collision with a semi-trailer truck. I managed to swerve back onto my side of the road just in time.

A while back when I was in Egypt, I was playing with a cobra that I thought had been milked - it hadn't. It spat venom at my eyes, and I was just lucky to be wearing glasses at the time. Nobody had antivenin nearby. Not sure if it would have killed me, but glad I didn't find out.

More recently when I was in Petra, I was free climbing to one of the less accessible tombs. On my way down, I slipped and only just managed to catch myself. It would have been about an 8 metre fall - not sure if it would have killed me, but again, glad I didn't find out.

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[–] pH_ 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

8 meter fall, depending on how you land, will (if you land on your feet and absorb the impact by bending your legs, and roll forward to dissipate momentum) hurt like a bitch and crack or break something, or (if you land on your head/upper back) really hurt and then kill/paralyze you.

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[–] Klaxon 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

A meteorite landed in Russia this one time, and I live in The Pacific Northwest (in the USA). That might not seem very close, but on a cosmic scale it just missed me.

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[–] Lobotomy 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

That would imply you're important enough to register on the cosmic scale.

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[–] Klaxon 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Well ... I am the center of my very own universe.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 22 points (+22|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] pH_ 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Look at the upside, getting dumped or being homeless sounds relatively not too bad now.

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[–] Bioreactor 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Holy shit, that is a lot of things to go wrong in one life

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[–] Wafflenotblue 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Angel: What should /u/Icantthinkofanewname's life plan be?

God: Just fuck him up

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[–] TremorAcePV 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

You dropped this:

God: He will be a testament to My Glory.