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[–] Funk_Do_Gordinho 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

There is literally nothing quite so terrifying as an angry whale whose scootypuff battery has died in the middle of the center aisle. Pray for whichever cart boy has to find them a new one.

Worst case scenario; the available scooter has been taken by a legitimately disabled skinny elderly man. If that happens, I wonder how the cart people handle the beached whale if they can't get a new one for it?

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[–] 2467006? 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

Spray it down with the produce hose until a scooty becomes available.

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[–] RedditRunaway 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

You tell them that and offer a regular cart to lean on or, if store has a bench, a place to wait until one opens up. Then drag dead cart back.

I've left carts unplugged because my old store had about no elderly and disabled shoppers (college town & store down the street was where the elderly shopped). Also I worked late shift, so no one was around to really chastise me about it. "oh ma'am sorry, none are working or charged. I can't leave my post, our manager is over there. No I'm sorry I don't have a radio. You'll have to walk or wait."

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[–] fabulousalpaca ago 

Fantastic.

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[–] CrackingYs 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Goddamn. I'm glad you got that out.

There is literally nothing quite so terrifying as an angry whale whose scootypuff battery has died in the middle of the center aisle. Pray for whichever cart boy has to find them a new one.

Sometime, when you've had a chance to cool down, this could be it's own post. It never occurred to me that this actually happens. I wonder if Walmart has a ham rescue squad standing by.

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[–] RedditRunaway 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

It's the worst dragging one back to charge. The worst!

Luckily about 75% of the time the ham gets out and the cart is alive again!! So they drive it back and get a freshly charged scooty puff.

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[–] green_man 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

@ittybittybitchy, what would you find in Tess Dumpster's cart?

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[–] ittybittybitchy [S] 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

A shit ton of processed frozen type meals. You know like frozen burritos, or the frozen Chinese noodle and chicken dishes? Lots of pasta, too, and the jars of pasta sauce. Think convenience; fatties never cook totally from scratch. I don't often either, I don't have the time, to be fair. But it's like they could never be patient for the time it takes to really make anything from scratch. They also like the "diet" foods, the "sugar-free" and "lowfat" and all that shit, like it'll make a difference. They might have a couple bananas, or an apple or two; but any salad's those Caesar's-in-a-bag, any veggies frozen carrots in little squares.

The thing is I see normal people getting processed frozen stuff too; but it's the sheer volume that sticks out with fatties. Their weekly shopping would last me a month, with more fresh shit thrown in.

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[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

God. I am old enough to remember when 'fat free' foods hit the market. Never worked in grocery, but I do buy them. Hams buying skids of fat free Snackwell cookies...it was like a plague.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Ugh. I have the misfortune of living in the Midwest. Log-seesaw butt is a regular occurrence 'round here. Ghastly.

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[–] whatthemeat 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Haha log-seesaw is a great name, but I'm having trouble picturing this. Can you post an example?

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] CatNamedJava 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I used to work at Ross (discount cloths store). Selling XXL thongs...

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[–] Corruption22 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

As a confectioner I overhear a lot of hams saying to their friends "Ugh I hate cake" or "I don't like doughnuts". Bitch, please. I try not to laugh every time. I made some cupcakes yesterday and one ham just went up to them and started spewing "omgomgomgomgomg....!!!!" They aren't even good because they're so highly processed that they taste as vile as they look. And don't get me started on fat fucks both young and old mashing their sausage fingers on the glass, banging it in longing. Have some self control in public at least.

One of the worst was the ham who actually "tee hee"'d at me when she said "I'll probably eat all 3 in one sitting! tee hee!". I shivered it was so vulgar. That's easily 1300 calories right there. I live off of that in a day you childish cow.

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[–] marquise 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I agree so much. Rant on, my friend. I wouldn't hate this much if it weren't for all the fucking lies.

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