[–] EnigmaticSimian ago 

Step into traffic will you?

[–] Maroonsaint [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

My super powers won’t allow it. I end up accidently tossing cars with my mind. So sorry. I tried to jump out a building before. But before I could i. collapsed the Building and killed thousands. You may have heard of this. Coincidentally it was on 9/11. I wasn’t in the twin towers I was in that other building that “fell for no reason” yes. I’m not a murderer. Iv been in self isolation since I accidently killed thousands

[–] talkingliquor ago 

That was beautiful to read. I have no fixes for ya, Just digging it.

[–] Maroonsaint [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Every single time I leave my apartment I walk down to my car then have to walk back up to my apartment to make sure I actually locked the door. I always locked the door. It’s a completely pointless exercise but I do it every single time.

[–] toobaditworks 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Honestly you should check it a third time after you get into your car because the other times were just a dream.

[–] Maroonsaint [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

In college we used to just leave our apartment open. Like the door wide open. Who’s gonna come in and steal from us? First of all can you make it across all the glass we have on our carpet from shooting spare change and rocks at empty alcohol bottles with a slingshot? I remember one time I walked in. I wasn’t too terribly fucked up. Oh shit that’s how you spell terribly. That doesn’t look right. Anyways so I was playin a game or something and I was about to go to sleep. BY THE WAY wtf. How do you make a conscious effort to go to sleep. Like you’re sitting there. Blah blah fucking off and a little bell goes off in your head. “I’m gonna Go to sleep now” WTF. How do you do that. I literally will not sleep until I’m too fucked up to stay conscious. Or I’m drop dead tired. Anyways so I

Went go to sleep and this random ass dude was passed out in my bed. I went to go lay down and my bed started moving. I was like wtf is this. His drunk ass it took me 20 minutes to get his dumbass out my bed. I should have raped him. That would teach him to pass out in the wrong bed

[–] Imthecure 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Thanks for the story, presidential candidate biden.

[–] Eualos 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Focus

[–] Questionable_1 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Put down the bong for a few days.

[–] Maroonsaint [S] ago 

I gave up weed many moons ago. My son. My child.

[–] gimpyoldman 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

The internet and smart phones are great for people to develope a very short attention span. Cut down on the electronic gizmos. Unless you're old, then it will probably just get gradually worse.

[–] Maroonsaint [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Idk man: maybe I’m just retarded