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[–] miistahmojo 0 points 51 points (+51|-0) ago 

I think it's safe to say that this suitcase...

•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

...just became a murder case.

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[–] coldacid 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[–] bisaya 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Alright, alright! Here's your up-vote you wise-ass!

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[–] Agitprop 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

No shit, he didn't stuff himself in a suitcase. I suspect foul play as well.

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[–] torky 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

Well there was that MI5 agent who was found stuffed inside a suitcase in a bathtub and the metro police ruled it as suicide. I doubt it was

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[–] Agitprop 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

No that was "unnatural and likely to have been criminally mediated." Let's not point fingers /s.

Holy shit that was a weird article. Also, I'm going to try and lock myself into a bag next chance I get.

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[–] Argumentative ago 

Aww i came here to post this lol beat me to it, well done xD

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[–] MedicalMountainGoat 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

First he chopped himself up though. Don't forget.

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[–] 0iamlordeyayaya0 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Wait, is this The Onion or not?

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[–] 1747190? 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I thought the same thing at first...

But Onion articles are not as poorly written as this one.

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[–] Paranoidroid [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Not even. I saw a click-batey link on twitter for the TV station that posted this story. It was supposed to be a bizarre update to the story, but the only thing that's bizarre is that the SFPD took so many months to determine the victim was murdered.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] leweb 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

It's a case of suicide by Rube Goldberg machine.

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[–] Paranoidroid [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

The poor guy could still be alive if they'd just not opened the suitcase.

Oh no, that's the cat one.

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[–] curtygriff 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I don't know... I think it could be suicide.

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[–] Tsugumori 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

An arrest was made shortly after but the suspect, Mark Andrus, was later released. Andrus, Shahwan’s former roommate in San Francisco, later died after admitting himself to the hospital.

Anyone else think that this part is more interesting than a poorly worded title? Like... what the fuck.

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[–] HighfalutinNakabear 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Yeah that was just kind of thrown in there at the end wtf? He admitted himself...and then died. Alright then.

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[–] Tsugumori 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Admitted himself... right after being released from police custody... and then died. Kinda makes you get the feeling you might not have the whole story.

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[–] Donbuster 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

"Suspect" murder...
Yes, in the same way that one might suspect the dog if a trashcan is knocked over whilst no one is home, and various bits are chewed on....

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[–] Paranoidroid [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

"By jove, Holmes! How did you know?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson!"

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[–] PM_NICE_BREASTS 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I was going to reassemble him later....

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