[–] WileyECryote 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
This guy keeps all his valuables in his bellybutton. http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2014/06/man_hides_heroin_in_belly_button.html
[–] OnlyReadsFPH 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Eh, fit people should just fight back. Or run (walk easily) away.
[–] sanataseva 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago (edited ago)
Ehh, there's nothing in the wallet because fatty doesn't work and spends all its disability/fatty stipend on Mountain Dew, potato chips and Double Stuf Oreos. There's really only the one key, and it opens a dank, smelly apartment that is only theirs because the landlord can't get in through the wall of pizza boxes, broken medical equipment and waste products. The phone is a flip from the early 2000s that it can't find because it has embedded in its skin. It hasn't been replaced because fatty doesn't need a phone, no one wants to talk to it anyway.
So don't be jealous, there is nothing in an obese worth protecting.
[–] tableflipper 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Fat privilege is being able to store things without needing pockets.
Reminds me of this.
[–] uberdoober 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I feel sorry for the cop that had to drive fatty to jail, I bet the stench was unbearable.
[–] cheesewh0re ago
Me too. All I have is this tiny pocket on my skinny jeans that don't make my legs look sausage bursting out of the casing.