[–] satisfyinghump ago
It's been a few days since you posted, and as some of the more detail conscious and "I've been there too" types already told you, nights can sometimes be the worst. You made posts since than, so you havent done anything difficult to undo.
You're young too, which is working against you, as many of the people who are giving you advice, sound like they've lived through it, which usually means they are older. Worst yet, the advice they are giving you, which is with the best intentions, and sometimes earned with the most scars... may not be as effective to you as it is/was to them, since they earned that advice from experience.
A perfect example is when an adult tells a kid not to touch a kitchen stove, and the kid doesn't listen, and they touch a hot stove and get hurt. Typically if the kid is not mentally retarded, that lesson will be far more effective then what the adult tried to teach them/warn them about. But why? Because of the pain. Same thing with "life advice". Someone tells you "around blacks don't relax", and because it rhymes or something, you assume it's just a funny racist joke, or what not and you ignore it. You find yourself sitting at a bus stop and suddenly on the floor, when you blink away the tears, you realize you were slammed to the ground by a nignog. Had you been looking at the bus stop where you sat from a surveillance camera. you'd of seen a pack of dindus getting closer to you and communicating with feral simple primitive head nods, trying to one up each other, until one of them finally slammed you in what they refer to as the game of 'knockout'. (if the example sounds detail oriented, it's because I'm imagining the white kid who got nearly beaten to death by the feral Simolians imported by Obummer to midwest Americuh... that kid learned a fucking lesson. But he almost didn't live through the learning of the lesson. That can happen with emotional, physical, spiritual, etc types of pain. You're old enough to know (I am NOT speaking down to you when referring to age. It is SIMPLY A FACT. The way you expect two people walking a path in a museum, and the one who is infront of the other one by 30 minutes, has simply seen more paintings/works of art, and has had more time to think it over what they have seen, as well as more time to speak with others who have not only seen what they have seen but maybe even seen paintings further ahead, and they've simply circled back to be able to witness/view paintings they had seen earlier, but this time through the eyes of someone who has seen/experienced what they've experienced further ahead in the art museum! Hopefully that makes sense and isn't more condescending.)
Anyway, since you're here, you probably know the important difference between treating the symptoms of a disease vs treating the actual problem/disease. Using that perspective, there are somethings you can do to treat your symptoms, while you work on treating the problem. But calling it a problem is the wrong label, since it's something everyone goes through at some point. And the ones who DON"T go through it? Those are the NPC's we read about and laugh about. Those are the liberals we see on TV that embrace every single disgusting sick thing they come across, instead of drawing a line in the sand and learning to either not cross it, or at least learning consequences about what happens when you cross the line.
I'm going to go down the list you made, which you gave us. I'll answer because, hard to imagine, I just may have felt as you did with some of them, and I made it to the other end of things.
1. You claim you lost the love of your life. I'm here to tell you, you didn't. Or rather, what you're feeling is a perspective, since, you're young, how the hell can you have found the love of your life? You know how many chances you have left!? You know how many chances you will turn away, by believing they will never be 'the one' or 'the love of your life' because you met that love and shes gone for whatever reason. NOTHING I or anyone else says, will most likely help you, but time. Time WILL HELP YOU. Continuing to live life will help you. Just do your day to day. And one day you'll realize you didn't think of her when "that song" came on. Or some girl walked by. Etc. THAT WILL HAPPEN, JUST LET IT HAPPEN. And it's NOT being lazy to wait for it too happen, since I doubt it can happen when forced... just my 2 cents.
2. You lost your family, which is a terrible feeling. I won't speak much on this, because it may come off as rude or insulting. But, family is forever. One way to look at that statement is that what you're living through is a pause? Some people see it as meaning they haven't met their family yet, ie a spouse which leads to children, which leads to their OWN family, which leads to a group of people who WILL REMAIN WITH YOU as support and as details. There are many interpretations. You are clearly hurting. You need to only remmeber to wake up each day, and eat and sleep and drink and take care of yourself, both your health and the health of your future. Work out, work on becoming financial independent, build a home, somewhere you feel safe and somewhere surrounded by those who can support you and you can support them. As cliche as it sounds, they will become your family, and may even become your comrades in arms, depending on what the future throws at us.
3. Job opportunities are just that, opportunities. Others exist, although they may be harder to obtain, or the end goal job you want will be further away, you will find them, others.
You sound like you have an understanding of what you need to do, but have something thats stopping you. Daily meditation, even 5 to 10 minutes, has been shown to be enough for positive changes. Regardless, give it a try, and see what changes in your life. You have nothing to lose as you say... cliche as it sounds! ;)
You analyzed that you have issues, and you are aware that you should fix them. Thats far better than most others, hell, most are NPC's right?
Goodluck to you, not that you need it. Instead, best wishes and good vibes to you!
I developed a weed habit to cope with the night time thinking. I don't recommend it. Do you exercise? Working your body during the day does a lot more than people are willing to consider.
[–] Seventh_Jim ago
I give it to Christ. I'm not called to be perfect, and I can always start doing better. Forgive everyone who has done wrong by you, and forgive yourself for your failings.
If that's too Christfaggy for you, Marcus Aurelius reaches essentially the same conclusion. Read Meditations. Start creating things and helping others. Meditating, in the eastern sense, actually increases misery and narcissism. Strive not to empty yourself, but to fill yourself. Write shit down.
[–] PaulNeriAustralia 1 point -1 points 0 points (+0|-1) ago
there's only one thing you can do - move on and deal with the new reality. In short - sink or swim.
[–] Cats88 ago
By taking stock of where you are at this moment and moving forward from that.