[–] RamboCommando 1 point 2 points 3 points (+3|-1) ago
Developer for 13 years... new guy, older dude in his mid 40s, gets hired and placed into my office... day 1 he stats braggings about how he use to work for Microsoft as a developer. First week we're working together and he fights me about everything... real asshole know-it-all type.
Next week he's on his own. Dude doesn't know how to do anything at all. Nothing... I'd be surprised if he could even program a "Hello World" app. He bothers me all day long asking me how he should do his job.
Again, this is a grown man in his 40s. He constantly talks about what he's doing, but he takes forever to actually do anything. So he has to talk about the problem and ask me for a solution. Then he has to figure out what I just told him because he's a shit developer who doesn't understand anything I say. Then he has to tell me the solution, even though I'm the one that told him what to do... then he has to get up and go tell our boss what he's going to do. Then, since he's up, he'll go into the back and talk to the other tech support people about bullshit... then he comes back and sits down and starts to do work.
But just a few minutes. Then he has to get up and go to the bathroom... maybe it's lunch time... and about 12 times a day he just leaves the building to go for a walk. no bullshit, dude just walks out of work and goes for a walk.
Of course, everybody realizes he's not a developer so he gets bumped back down to tech-support... and now he's quitting at the end of the month because we don't appreciate him.
He's also anti-vaccinations and his reason was "nobody dies of polio anymore"... he honestly didn't see the problem with that argument. He thinks polio vaccinations are a ruse to inject us with... well... I honestly don't know.
He juices as a diet, he brags that he spent $5000 on this car that isn't even made yet, that has 3 wheel and runs on an electric motor and that it's the future... oblivious that electric cars already exist and are far nicer then his crowd-funded purchase he may never actually receive...
He saw the movie "Lucy" and he said he liked the movie but he hated the science... I thought, "cool, we finally have something in common"... then he told me he liked movies that explore how we only use 10% of our brain but hated how the film forced the false science of evolution on him.
[–] insert_name 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
Oh. It's really simple.
You have a religious Shrute in your office.
[–] Astromachine 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Lies about things when they clearly just made a mistake. Like I don't know and can't tell. You made a mistake, its okay, they happen.
[–] GreatTragedy 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
The guy clips his fingernails at his desk. Often. Like he doesn't have 90 seconds to ever do it at home.
[–] tolstoshev 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Chewing with his mouth open. Loudly. If I snap, please bail me out of jail.
[–] amp138 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Most of my co workers annoy me, but I am also a total miserable fuck, so maybe it's just me. Examples:
Guy in front of me likes to interrupt my work when I have my earbuds in to talk about nothing in particular. I feel like if my headphones are in, that means don't talk to me unless you have work related problems. This happens a few times a day.
One dude likes to come up with completely outlandish facts and stories that have no basis in reality and are mainly off of hearsay. These have included the following - "Ronda Rousey just opened a kickboxing gym in Johnston, RI" , "M&M shells are made from pulverized beetles", and "Sierra Nevada brews their beer in America, but sends it to Europe to bottle/can it." He also recently made a blunder by advising a coworker that he would be getting a confederate flag tattoo "but not in a racist way."
An older lady in the front of my room likes to point out the obvious. Like if I'm changing into my gym clothes for when I leave work "OH SOMEBODYS HITTIN THE GYM" or if I get a haircut "SOMEBODY GOT A HAIRCUT, SOMEBODY GOT A HAIRCUT". She's Ok though because I like to eat her candy. But if the candy was nonexistent, she would be beyond awful.
Our mail clerk is a royal dummy, can't do anything right, and has occasionally in the past forced me to listen to music. Musical genres I have never even professed to like, such as jazz fusion, reggae, and lounge music. Forces me at times to also listen to her stories about how she runs. And runs. And runs some more. HATE.
Finally, my favorite is my team lead, who loves to hum. LOUDLY. SO LOUD.
tl;dr want to kill myself
[–] l23r ago
I'm a hummer. I usually do it when I'm the only one at work (I work nights) but I sometimes do it in the evening when people are still there. I always feel self-conscious when I realize :)