If you are not married, a parent nor lazy, cheer up : you are candidate to NGO workforce.
Check out idealist.org.
You'll add some precious experiences to your resume, you'll meet people who aren't judgemental, you'll find your place and you'll feel HELPFUL.
Cheer up.
do what you feel is best. I saw that you liked IT, find an IT job. Get your resume out there, make friends, be cool. Never be afraid of new things, as that's how humans grow and experience is your life XP. Collect as much life XP as you can before you die, so when you're almost out of time you'll know you did it all. You'll feel fulfilled, you'll feel complete. On to round 2.
[–] RoosterMeditation 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago (edited ago)
I struggled with what to do for a long time. I then decided to accept I may never know and started trying, failing and succeeding. Personally,, I now aim to be a solid person and live according to the things I believe. I also stopped blaming and tearing everyone down in my head. Everyone's a hypocrite, including me. Shouldn't stop us from trying.
Stuff that helped. Learning about Mother Theresa. Checking my ego and realizing it's not all life or death. Knowing that friends come and go and that's how life works - you don't have to stay in touch with everyone. Don't be ashamed of what you enjoy unless it hurts others. Video games do not hurt others. Graffiti on someone's car hurts others.
Final thought, we're not supposed to understand god or any higher power until we're dead. It's impossible. It's not a hard question to conclusively answer, it's impossible. Maybe something is there, but who knows. I still pray and live by a moral code and read up on faiths. Got a lot of respect for faith leaders. But they don't know for sure, and you can't either.
I included this last bit because it was constantly on my mind when I was struggling with this stuff
[–] Scurvy_dog ago
You should find love. Dare risk yourself and fall in love. A women, children, but you need to man the fuck up.