[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
And for motivation, when they run, they can be followed by aggressive Belgian Malinois who have been trained to attack fatties: run or else, hams!
Lava pit for the first five feet of the standing longjump.
Spikes beneath the pole vaulting ramp-up.
I'm sure we could turn this into a "sport" worth the watching...
XD
DEATH to HAMS!
[–] darthbrodin [S] 0 points 17 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago (edited ago)
I also forgot to mention that when I passed these fat hams, I said, "Hi ladies... nice evening for a stroll, right?" I was running 7:45 at the time. They were walking.
[–] darthbrodin [S] 0 points 23 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago
gasp, huff, gasp, heave
Nothing. They were totally winded.
[–] GenevieveJenkins 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Lol. And they call themselves runners.
[–] Supersize_You ago
I love running past fatties though! I'm no way considered fast (~10min/mile) but passing those globular moving chicanes always end up with a jealousy stare.
[–] Phillyshitlord 0 points 14 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago (edited ago)
I love fathletes!!! Especially crushing their idea of what being an athlete entails.
I love sending their shot into the stands.
I love dunking on then like it's a lay up line.
I love outrunning an easy dribbler to first because they can't huff their fat ass off the bag and get back.
I love giving them a pre school juke move and watch them fall flat on their face when they try and tackle me.
I love making catch after catch and scoring TD after TD like I'm playing Madden on rookie.
There's very few things I love more than seeing a FAThlete wearing the opposing teams color and talking shit because of that one time they played 15 years ago.
[–] Duune24 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
The worst is playing soccer and having the fatties fight over who is going to be the goalie. It doesn't matter they can't dive or jump after the ball when it comes to them or they can't bend down to reach the ball. They are too fat or lazy to put enough effort into playing the game.
Putting them on the back defensive line is even worst, because they can't get back in a resonable pace to stop a scoring chance. So you are stuck with a 3 on 2 break, but our best athletes at forward can bust their ass all game long.
Watching fats play soccer is painful.
[–] Phillyshitlord 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
I forgot all about that!!! Probably because I'm the goalie for my team so I don't interact with the other goalie that much. Whenever I see a fat goalie I know that we essentially only have to play good defense because we'll get several by him.
The only thing better is when the left or right back is the fathlete. Then every stop I get is a coffin corner punt because they always come up too far and our mids out run then for a 1 v 1 versus the goalie.
[–] DietCokehead1 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
"I moved around for 10 minutes, therefore I'm an athlete! tee hee!"
[–] [deleted] 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
[–] shdwghst457 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
No, if you're walking up the same set of stairs as a fathlete and skipping steps, then they walked up twice as many stairs.
Just kidding, they took the elevator.
[–] MuensterMonster 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
they found the joy in moving their body and being physically active, per the HAES principles. theyre challenging scientific and cultural assumptions about what it means to be an athlete. can't you see that they are fierce warriors whose health isnt determined by their ability to look and act like healthy individuals? /s
[–] hotpocketweightloss2 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
It kind of reminds me of the 16 year old Mr. Universes you see in the gym every summer. Strutting around because they can bench 185 a couple times and quarter squat 225 for a rep. Learn to be humble, you damn kids. There's always someone stronger than you. And someone stronger than that person. And get off my lawn.
[–] kikibees 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Omg, runner hams are so annoying. I took up running a few years ago and never felt comfortable calling myself a runner because of fatties. I was pulling 40-50 miles a week at the height and never talked about it.
Moved on to weight training about a year and a half ago and just last night had a totally amazingly muscular woman ask me if I do competitions. I was over the fucking moon. But I told her the truth, no I don't. I'm no where near her level, or her planet, in that way. And until I am, I'll just be flattered and keep my mouth shut.
[–] Swole_is_life 1 point 77 points 78 points (+78|-1) ago
I need to save this for the next time someone gives me crap about making fun of hams working out. I'm an avid fat hater, but you know what, if I see a ham actually working out I'll give them a pass. You know why this isn't fat sympathy? Because IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS. I have never in my life seen an actual ham seriously working out. The closest I remember was back in HS cross country, but those guys weren't really hams, they were 14-year-olds who had some belly fat for growing (they did finish growing a few years later and lost the weight).
So yeah, Imma say even here where I can get banned for it, if you're a ham and actually working out, I'll give you a big pat on the back. I can say this without fear of the banhammer because I know it will never happen.
[–] Snibbin 0 points 34 points 34 points (+34|-0) ago
I've seen a lot of hams at my gym... There is one that I've seen there a lot over the last 3 months and he appears to be taking it seriously, putting in effort, doesn't act like a shithead while there, and has lost noticeable weight over the time I've seen him. Maybe some day he will rejoin the human race. He is the only fatass I've ever seen at the gym that I have any real hope for at all.
[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
For lards like that one, I'll cut down on the hate. At least they're making an effort. But they still get hate because they let themselves get fat in the first place.
Respect comes when you reach a 24.9 BMI, not before.
[–] LazarusLong 0 points 32 points 32 points (+32|-0) ago
I think there are so few because any that do put in effort don't stay fat.
You have to catch them in transition, everyone else is just spinning their wheels.
[–] UnBlurredLines 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
Can confirm. Was at gym yesterday, ham comes in and gets on elliptical. Lowers slope to 0 degrees and resistance to 1. I could exhale on the machine's handles and they'd rotate. She proceeds to jiggle on the machine for 10 minutes. Not a single drop of sweat was shed. She then grabs a .5liter bottle of coke to re-fuel.
Makes me wonder how she got obeastly.
[–] darthbrodin [S] 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
That's because hams who seriously work out regularly reverse their condishuns and change their juhneticks and become normal people again. Being fat and regularly "seriously working out" are mutually exclusive lifestyles.
Anyone who tells you "I work out so hard but I also eat a lot!" (e.g., stereotypical dadbod fatlogic when they claim the fat on their upper arms is actually muscle) isn't actually serious about their sport, because anyone who takes a sport seriously realizes how much of an advantage a low body weight is. Fuck, even powerlifters try to cut to the point where they are at exactly the cutoff on their weight class.