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[–] darthbrodin [S] 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I also forgot to mention that when I passed these fat hams, I said, "Hi ladies... nice evening for a stroll, right?" I was running 7:45 at the time. They were walking.

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[–] Nujabes 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

What did they say?

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[–] darthbrodin [S] 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

gasp, huff, gasp, heave

Nothing. They were totally winded.

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[–] GenevieveJenkins 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Lol. And they call themselves runners.

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[–] kikibees 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

i totally heart your shitlordiness.

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[–] Supersize_You ago 

I love running past fatties though! I'm no way considered fast (~10min/mile) but passing those globular moving chicanes always end up with a jealousy stare.

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[–] tableflipper 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

They're acting like they're even on the same planet

PLANET

I see what you did there.

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[–] thatdamnchef 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Okay, great! If I have to witness fat people in the wild, I like to see them trying to not be fat anymore (instead of, say, eating for 6 at a Golden Corral).~~~

Dude...you eat at the Golden Corral?

bad food, old people and landwhales...

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[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Oh God. The Golden Trough.

I've eaten there once because my mother insisted that we go there for Thanksgiving. It was traumatizing. 400 pound beasts everywhere, each with 2 heaping full plates, eyeballing the dessert buffet as they slowly waddled by.

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[–] BugLady 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I too had go there for a Thanksgiving. One fatty actually ran my foot over in her beetusmobile, and her slightly smaller, ambulatory acquaintance decided to glower at me. She even did that little "you wanna go?" gesture where you puff out your chest and angrily jerk your chin up while leaning forward.

And yes, this was next to the desserts.

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[–] fuckredditcensorship 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

"I'm a runner not because I'm fast... or good at it... or try at all... but because I say I am!"

Can I claim to be an astrophysicist? I have none of the qualifications necessary, but I'm gonna tell people that that's what I am. That makes it true, right guys?

Next thing they're going to start complaining because there aren't any hams in Nike commercials.

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[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

So, I hear you're an astrophysicist...

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[–] Knote 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

It really is childlike when you think about it lol.

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[–] hotpocketweightloss2 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

It kind of reminds me of the 16 year old Mr. Universes you see in the gym every summer. Strutting around because they can bench 185 a couple times and quarter squat 225 for a rep. Learn to be humble, you damn kids. There's always someone stronger than you. And someone stronger than that person. And get off my lawn.

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[–] DeVera ago 

Just wanted to say congrats, that's a good rant. :)

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[–] purringdito 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

GOD, THANK YOU! Omg the only thing larger than their waist size is their fucking EGOS

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