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[–] oozeling ago 

Why do you keep mentioning autism, if you don't mind my asking? ARE you autistic, or are you using it as the new "retarded"?

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[–] tanzmeister [S] ago  (edited ago)

It was originally just a joke, but I forgot this is the internet.

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[–] voat-ist 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

You want to point out to strangers and mild acquaintances how fake and hollow they are being? Why?

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[–] tanzmeister [S] ago 

I want to encourage them to be more genuine and perhaps make the environment in which I work a better community? I realize that most people are just there for the paycheck, but why pretend?

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[–] voat-ist ago 

Because the pretending makes the environment better. Being hyper honest at work doesn't make the work environment nicer.

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[–] mispelledsomething 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

"I'm well, and you?"

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] roboticon ago  (edited ago)

"I am because I think" does not describe how you are, it is merely proof that you are. How it is you manage to be at all is the real question we want to address.

[–] [deleted] ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] wayne 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

It sounds like you're just wanting everyone who isn't heavily invested in a heart-felt answer from you to say something to the effect of, "Greetings, fellow person!" and then walk past you. That said, this is a "you" issue, not a "them" issue. Learn to operate in the society you live in. If you are concerned with pointing out how fake and hollow someone sounds in normal, everyday small talk, you're going to make a lot of enemies and no difference.

How about building relationships so that when they ask, they have a reason to care about the relationship? I can tell you that if someone responded to a casual "Hey man, how's it going?" with something like, "Why does it matter to you? You don't know me and wouldn't care if I told you." I would just completely cut off conversation with that person, as much as possible.

Maybe that's what you want.

That's a stupid thing to want.

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[–] tanzmeister [S] ago 

Sorry for coming off so negative. It's just, all day I hear conversations about nothing and it grinds me down. It makes me wonder how long I have before I'm perfectly fine with those kind of interactions.

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[–] Emu_Mud_Wrestling 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

Before I read this article I used to care about people being fake too. Pay attention to

Subtlety #3: We All Have A Limited Number Of Fucks To Give; Pay Attention To Where And Who You Give Them To

It is really quite liberating when you realize how much energy you were putting into these interactions that are inconsequential and conserve your energy for times when it counts. A simple, "good, you?" is low energy and lets you get to what you need to get to. /v/nomerasques point is an excellent starting point too.

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[–] tanzmeister [S] ago 

Nice. At the risk of delving too deep, I think I give too many fucks about people giving the wrong fucks. I usually try not to give a fuck, so I'll try harder.

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[–] roboticon ago  (edited ago)

/v/nomerasques doesn't exist

EDIT: oops, i thought you were suggesting a subverse as a starting point. You were trying to reference the comment /u/nomerasques made.

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[–] Emu_Mud_Wrestling ago 

My bad. Thanks for the help.

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[–] Ripley_Riae 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

How are you?- I'm fine

Up to much recently/Whats new with you- Same old same old

Not exactly hard

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[–] tanzmeister [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

See, how would someone I don't know have any idea what my "same old same old" is? Sorry for being so cynical, but it's a conversation based on nothing.

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[–] Astromachine 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Saying "how's it going?" is a non-committal conversation starter. It leaves you, the receiver the opportunity to actually engage in a conversation or dismiss it it you like without any sort of social obligations. If I did care how you were doing and said "So, tell me how you're doing" this is much more forceful and, if you're not interested or comfortable with the conversation it is more difficult because you have to actually refuse me. Just saying "Hi" in passing also does not really tell you the person sending the greeting is open to a conversation. So, if there is something you want to talk about you have to be the one initiating the conversation.

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[–] roboticon 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

But "how's it going?" isn't always a conversation starter -- how do you know whether someone saying this would really be open to a conversation or is just being polite?

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[–] Astromachine ago 

It isn't itself the conversation starter, it is a neutral invitation to start a conversation. At the very least, if you respond with a conversation the person who isn't interested then has to back out of it. In which case, those who are not open to conversations will not use it since there are lots of other polite greetings which don't open you up for conversation. Such as "good morning."

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