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[–] G0P2 ago 

What do you think? Err feel is the right thing to do?

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[–] dundundunnnnn 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

I've had many babies, worn them all, and have not seen a problem with spoiling. Follow your natural instinct.

I wonder what kind of person your mother-in-law is...

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[–] messdnys [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Thank you. She's kind of a boomer. Southern, somewhat old-fashioned compared to most people I know, and raised 7 kids, but not as traditional as my husband and me.

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[–] beefartist 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

Your MIL is either full of shit or as is more typical; constantly passive aggressively undermining their child's spouse so that their grown up baby doesn't realize they were kind of a shitty mother. My son is two and his mom wears him to dance around the living room when he is grumpy or I wear him on long walks

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[–] KobeBurger 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

Carry and love your baby as much as you want. The trick to making sure they aren't spoiled is to make them as independent as possible, as soon as possible. As soon as they can walk, teach them to do chores and tell them what great help they are and that they are hard workers. Tell them you appreciate their help, and if they get all of their chores done quickly, you will have time to take them to the park. Another kid coming along? Tell the oldest that they will be a big sister/ brother and that you need their help to take care of their new sibling. Humans care for things that they take care of so the kids will naturally grow up close.

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[–] TheAntiZealot ago  (edited ago)

Today Kobe was right. Tomorrow, I'm going to a Kobe Steakhouse.

Maybe, I'll order a burger.

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[–] KobeBurger ago 

Best tenderized under the weight of a helicopter and seared in the flames of fuel.

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[–] jimibulgin 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I shouldn't hold her too much

BABIES CAN NEVER BE HELD "TOO MUCH"!!!!!!!

By the time they are two they will squirm away from you to go play. Hold her every second that you can!!

PS- I am a man.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] messdnys [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I totally agree. I wasn't planning on holding her 24/7, I want to give her space to have tummy time, move around, etc. I was thinking I'd carry her mostly when she's sleeping, and when we're out of the house. And the purpose for wearing her wasn't really for my own convenience, but because it's what I thought would be best for her and for our bonding. And good thinking about the temperature, she will be a summer baby so I'll keep that in mind.

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[–] SquishedSpam 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Carry your baby when she wants to be carried. Sometime babies are having a bad day, they can't tell you about it but they will very much need to be held all day. Other days they will have nothing to do with you and will flail and fight if you dare hold them for more than a few minutes. As you get to know your baby, you'll come to understand how she is feeling and what she needs.

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[–] NoTrueScotsman 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Interesting, I've never heard of being worn delaying head control before. I usually hear the opposite.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] AmoebaGrin ago 

Always baby-wore, never did tummy time. Baby developed properly and hit every milestone in time nonetheless. It might have more to do with the type of carrier. My pediatrician said tummy time is unnecessary if you do lots of baby-wearing because it will still strengthen their necks and I've found that to be true. I suspect the type of carrier, say a sling versus something where the baby can eventually hold their heads upright, might make a difference though.

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[–] ReformedFeminist 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

It will be so much easier for YOU to wear your baby! Your hands will be free and you won't have to lug around a pumpkin seat everywhere you go. There's a ton of different styles to choose from if you find one kind hurts your back.

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[–] Ashra 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I have 2 children. Firstly, every baby is different. Not only gender-wise, but temprementally. My daughter was walking at 11.5 months, my son is 14 months and still usually holding on to something with 1 hand while standing. I LOVE my baby Tula carrier, I got the Expplore because it can be used so many different ways. For my first baby I had an old Britax I believe, which was impossible to use with my heavy son.

He gets so calm being connected to me, I can go grocery shopping for an hour and he just quietly observes the world. I will say that my son likes to be held a lot, maybe if he was on the ground more he would be closer to walking (though I do hear boys are slower to walk, and he is heavy so he will have to be a lot stronger to walk than my tiny girl was).

I love holding him, cuddling with him, co-sleeping, and breastfeeding. I believe that his full knowledge that I love and tend to his needs has led him to be so confident, I can leave him with his aunt or grandma and he is very secure and unafraid.

Obviously I love talking about my children so I will stop here but feel free to contact me if you have any other questions. Also, congrats on the baby girl! They are great big sisters (mine is 5 years older than her brother), and if you have a boy keep him intact!!

Sincerely,

the mama of 2 beautiful, home/water-birthed, homeschooled children

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[–] messdnys [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Yay thank you for the input! I'm also planning on waterbirthing and homeschooling, and definitely no circumcision for my boys. Part of what worried me is that my MIL said that she held her first child all the time, and then that child would get really fussy with other family members who wouldn't hold her as much. So it's good to hear a different side of that. My MIL also circumcised all her boys and when I told her I was having a waterbirth, she said that was gross. We don't always see eye-to-eye but I trust her judgment on some things so it's just hard to discern what I should listen to her about.

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[–] Ashra 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Having a home birth with my first and a home/water birth with my second were incredible, powerful, sacred experiences. There were definitely times where I joked "whose idea was this? Get me to the hospital and get me meds!" There were times with my first where I felt things were not progressing fast enough (what do you mean I'm only 2cm!?!), and I felt tired (32 hour from first contraction to baby with 1st child, 8 hours from start to finish with 2nd baby), there were times I slept the 2 minutes between contractions and somehow that was enough, there were times I just went through hours of contractions sitting on a toilet (which is why I didn't poop during labor, yay), and there were times I yelled like a banshee. But I did my research, I knew this was the path I wanted, I was the one making my own informed decisions every step of the way, and I was confident in my midwives who were constantly reassuring, monitoring, and helping me when I needed it.

With my first, I felt the tub was relaxing and nice, but I felt the relaxation slowed my labor too much. With my second I was so happy to have something relax and slow my labor (I was already 10cm and feeling the need to push when the midwives got there)! Everyone is different, and I hope you have your own perfect experience.

Also, watch "The Business of Being Born" by Ricky Lake, you can even find it free on jootube.

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[–] AmoebaGrin ago 

I loved my water birth! It was so peaceful.

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