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[–] TexasComments 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I hope you both have a wonderful life and that Jim you never find out about the Jamaican stripper your new wife and her friends choked on last night.

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[–] beijingsteamer 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Your husband is truly wonderful in bed...or in the coat check closet at a reception.

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[–] PassingShip 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

A toast to Bob, the groom. May he be ever of good health, fleet of foot, and invisible to jealous husbands, and may he pass these traits on to his children, including the 24 illegitimate ones, and the 25th due to be born checks watch any minute now. Bob, this is a big day for you and we're all happy for you. To Bob!

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[–] ReverieandEnvisage 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

At first I was like, dude you got her pregnant?! And you were like yeah, we just didn't care enough, but I hate kids.
And I was like man, but you're having one, haha dude, alright man, what are you going to do? Well I guess I'll have to marry her you said. I was like, bad move man, and I can say this now because you're married, but I was like, dude that's too fast. You've just started to see each other a couple of months ago, but religion lol, that's why I'm not in it anymore but nah we already talked about that and it's taboo between us so I don't bring it up anymore.
But like damm man, you guys were doing good, and you wanted to get back in the religion but this happened, now you have to wait 6 more months if not more. But seeing you guys now, I'm saying it's worth it man, because dude, she's beautiful man, and her whole family has so many beautiful girls too, it's good genes. Dude so, congratulations man, I haven't really talked to her because I'm just weird but she seems nice.

Dude whats up with the no drinking policy man? How am I supposed to finish this toast?

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[–] Valyrios 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I take thee Rachel- or, WE WERE ON A BREAK.

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[–] AnTi90d 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

..and remember, you've gotta' lick it before you stick it.

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[–] Necroscope 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Like i have said before, her tea towel holder was once a magnificent orifice....but I took care of that, leaving her with what can only be described as a burnt out Vauxhall Cavalier.

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[–] Link1299 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Well it was a fun time, sorry the priest and I were late though. He insisted on having a blowjob before hand for good luck.

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