[–] [deleted] 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] 20117325? [S] 1 point 3 points (+4|-1) ago 

Thanks. We'll see. Made a lot of mistakes.

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[–] callthehambulance 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

But she's also wanting to stick with the fitness regime and sugar detox. That's a huge thing, especially seeing as how she actively wants to do so.

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[–] CognitiveDissident5 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Don't be too hard on yourself. Thanks for what you shared here. I followed every update.

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[–] AR47 1 point 1 point (+2|-1) ago 

Admission of your mistakes is what will ultimately lead you to being a better role model for her and your own children.

I make mistakes all the time with my boy, and it is usually by me giving my own ideas on a subject, and not letting him decide for himself what the world is to him.

Recently had the trans-gender talk with him and while I don’t approve of the lifestyle I can’t just imprint my own ideas.

For him to take hold of what I feel he must come to the idea himself.

Least this topic was easy.

Dad I don’t think I could ever be gay.....

Why not?

Because boobies are awesome dad!

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[–] voatuser1128 ago 

To be honest I dont think you should have offered to let her go home early but backed off, bond a bit (maybe do some fun bonding activities) and then try to redpill her a little at a time.

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[–] user9713 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Keep in contact with her (but don't be a bother, either). See how she's doing, talk about your shared interests, ask her how her life is, what did she do over the weekend, ask her for thoughts / advice on something, offer to help with anything (pay attention for clues), etc.

Continue building on the relationship. Remember, the goal is to be her friend, while maintaining the Aunt / Niece hierarchy, so that she will look up to you and want to be like you when she grows up.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Saltyhymen 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I'll bet she looks at things a little differently on the next time around.

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[–] 20117492? [S] 3 points -1 points (+2|-3) ago 

Hopefully others can learn from my mistakes when trying to red-pill teens.

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[–] SexMachine 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you would have hoped. Young Americans these days are so.... I don't want to say brainwashed, but it's the best way I can word it. You can't undo in a few weeks what has been programmed into them for years.

Even with my kids, I try to enforce critical thinking, I don't want them irrationally embedded with my biases without reason, but I want to be able to guide them to the same conclusions.

For example, when my son was 8, he asked me, "why is it always the black kids who are acting up in class?"

But yeah, as far as traditional marriage, my wife isn't even a trad wife, so how can I sway them that way?

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[–] 20122171? [S] 2 points 0 points (+2|-2) ago 

But yeah, as far as traditional marriage, my wife isn't even a trad wife, so how can I sway them that way

I'll post about this soon.

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[–] Lord0Trade 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I say you did pretty well. It's difficult to break someone out of the bubble that is leftist ideology.

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[–] UnJaded 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Consider this: would you have had as much success if you had not been as intense to start?

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[–] MisterWings 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

You didn't fail because she picked up a lot more than you realize. Wanting to stick with fitness and detoxing from sugar is a huge step on the road to self-respect (which unlike self-esteem is actually useful). All you need is one seed to take to grow a plant. That being said, you did go into this blindly and that will produce less effective results. However you can keep the ball rolling as long as you keep in touch with the niece and take an interest in her day to day. That will put you in a good position to nudge her in a positive direction. You will never fundamentally change someone over a short period of time no matter how good at manipulation you are so the only thing I can think of at this point is weekly phone calls to just chat and keep up the positive message.

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[–] ledbetter 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Thanks so much for this post. No, you did NOT fail! Teens rebel against everything because they are wholly idealistic and don't have a clue how the world works. Did you consider what she was escaping from when she came to visit you? She had a view of life. You provided a completely different view, which she can not now or ever forget. What she does with it will enhance her development to maturity.

I have a similar situation with a granddaughter who fell off a horse and suffered a brain injury - 7 or 8 years ago. She then compounded her problem by taking a dare to jump off a roof (you see, I had these friends) and her foot/ankle will never fully recover. As a teen, we tend to take chances. I know I did some 60+ years ago. Those that don't kill us, make us stronger, most of the time. My granddaughter has tossed away friends faster than she makes them because she remains in her "know-it-all" state and cannot resist the desire to "help" others with her wisdom and inexperience. Most people resent it.

Now, back to 'you did NOT fail!' (I wanted to let that simmer.) Everyone enjoys what we call successes or wins. Unfortunately, we don't learn much from them, other than sometimes luck happens. Real Learning comes only with PAIN. When you feel emotional pain, the greater it is, the bigger the learning opportunity. Think about those times in your life when you were despondent. What had happened, and what did you do about it? First, you grieved, but later you wondered how you could escape that pain in the future. That is REAL learning. It cuts to the soul, and it's powerful. You never forget those lessons. View emotional pain as a growth opportunity.

SO, you didn't fail, because you LEARNED. You grew. You are bigger than you were. They say you don't quit playing because you grow older, you grow older because you quit playing. I like it, but even better, I prefer -: You get old when you quit learning. You can never stop learning while everyone around you is still learning because then you're effectively going backward.

You have shared some of your learning with us. God Bless you for that and for the experience that brought you to this new level. As you further examine the outcomes, I hope you will continue to share your learnings, although most will not learn as much as you did because learning from the shortcomings of others involves no personal pain. Stand taller. You have reached another rung on the ladder of life. Congratulations!

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